Openness is one of the most attractive features of the human character. Closed, secretive people cause alertness, it is difficult to contact them. But isolation often burdens the loner himself, and he tries to understand how to become an open person, how to communicate freely and easily in any company. It is worth first understanding what openness is.

What is openness

Openness in psychology is understood as spiritual generosity, the ability to share one's thoughts and feelings with others, the ability to accept any person in one's circle of communication. However, these attractive qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. And if you want to understand how to become a more open person, then you need to understand the deep psychological characteristics of these people. Here are the most important ones.

By knowing how to become an open person, you will be able to enjoy life more.

• Extraversion is a person's orientation towards the world, acceptance of the world, and not just sociability, but sincere pleasure from contacts with others.
• High emotional tone and optimism. Positive emotions experienced by extroverts not only attract people to them, but also infect them with energy and good mood.
• Self-confidence. This quality allows a person not to be afraid to freely express his opinion, share thoughts and feelings.
• Sociability. Communication is the native element for an open personality. Such a person is fluent in basic communication tools, their choice occurs almost on an intuitive level. These people are called the soul of the company, they are charming and at the same time convincing, they are able not only to entertain, but also to captivate with their ideas.
• Sincerity. Often this concept is equated with honesty, but it is deeper and is closely related to positive emotions. The word "sincerity" comes from "spark" - it is a bright fire burning in the soul and reflected in the eyes. He attracts an open person, makes him believe.

Most of these qualities are based on individual psychological characteristics. There are people who were already born with the makings of an open personality. But is it possible to develop these qualities? Can a closed person, squeezed in the grip of conventions and his own complexes, change? Yes maybe. But for this, he must want to change and make efforts for this.

The main difficulty is not even the need to change yourself. The fact is that "openness", "sociability" - these are the qualities that other people see in us. And it is very difficult to change the already established opinion of others, their stereotype of perception. But if you decide to create a new image for yourself, then do not back down and follow the advice of psychologists.

How to become an open and sociable person? We need to communicate as much as possible.

• Learn to treat criticism in your address calmly and with humor, laugh at yourself without waiting for others to do it. In any community there are envious people and ill-wishers, the most effective weapon against them is a sincere smile.
• To become an open and sociable person, you need to communicate. Expand your circle of contacts. But not in social networks, where the formation of the image is just a game, but in reality.
• Show interest in others and do it actively, but unobtrusively. Try to listen carefully, show interest, do not shy away from the opportunity to help, support. Train yourself to be useful to people, not for some benefit, but just like that.
• Learn to talk about yourself. In a conversation, remember an interesting case, a story, an example from your life, share your successes, complain about oversights. Just don't complain - people often don't like to hear about other people's problems.
• Try to use the maximum number of means of communication: facial expressions, especially a smile, gestures, intonation, speech means.

Openness is a great quality, but it is appropriate only in combination with positive emotions and optimism. It should be remembered that open demonstration of your anger, irritability, complaints about problems and failures are unlikely to attract people to you.

Everyone has experienced communication difficulties. Every day we communicate with dozens of people. Each of them has their own interests, opinions and habits that differ from yours. When communicating, you have to adapt to the characteristics and character of the interlocutor. Indeed, it is difficult to find a common language with everyone, some are even difficult to understand. And it is absolutely impossible to find a common language with strangers always. So, if you are experiencing this kind of difficulty, do not despair. This is a fairly common problem and there are simple ways to solve it.

Why do we need communication?

Becoming more confident and sociable is an important task. As a result of careful psychological research, it was found that mental and physical health depends on communication. Talking to an interesting person is uplifting. And those who feel like part of a team are happier, get sick less often, and are less prone to stress.

People whose social circle is limited to family and a few colleagues often feel lethargic and apathetic. It is difficult for them to succeed in any kind of activity, they are less likely to decide on cardinal changes. Women who refuse to work and communicate after the birth of a child, which is why they feel irritability and dissatisfaction. The same goes for people who have lost their jobs. The restriction of social contacts also affects the appearance.

Watching successful people, you can see how easily they make friends and keep up the conversation. For them, the opinion of others is important, it is important to be an interesting conversationalist. To become a more sociable person means to develop in other areas.

When difficulties arise and how to overcome them

Difficulties in communication can be intermittent or permanent. In the first case, we are talking about difficult, unpleasant conversations, attempts to join a new team, etc. In the second case, we can talk about excessive isolation or lack of communication skills. It is easier to deal with occasional difficulties. Sometimes it’s enough just to tune in yourself or give the interlocutor time for the same.

To overcome permanent communication difficulties, you will have to make an effort. To become a more sociable person, you need to observe yourself for some time and remember the reaction of others.

Remember, becoming more sociable is not just a desire, but a vital necessity. Only having the opportunity to fully communicate, you can succeed and learn to enjoy life. Therefore, do not delay, start following the tips given in the article immediately!

Sociability is the ability to quickly establish contacts and build relationships. Sociability - the need for communication and focus on others. Being sociable is more difficult than contacting everyone, but quality is more valuable.

Sociability is often mistaken for sociability, but this is not so. People - may not be sociable, while their opposites - may be fluent in communication skills and have a reputation for being sociable.

Sociability is the ability to establish warm trusting relationships with people, earn their respect and even raise their own self-esteem. A sociable person can turn out to be quarrelsome, tactless, overly talkative, and dealing with such a person is an unpleasant occupation.

Being communicative is a big advantage. Employers value sociable people, they enjoy authority among employees, customers and competitors, they are trusted, they are loved by friends and relatives. They have many useful connections, which is important when building a career and personal life, it is easier for them to get the information they need.

And all because, communicating with people, they establish bilateral contact with them and do not put pressure on them with their knowledge, eloquence and significance. Often they listen more than they speak, and they are active listeners.

The American actor and screenwriter of the last century Chauncey DePew said that no other human ability will allow him to make a career and gain recognition as quickly as the ability to speak beautifully. And the ability to speak beautifully is an indispensable condition for communication skills.

Is it an innate trait of character? After all, it happens that a grandmother who has lived all her life in the countryside has more delicacy and intelligence than a city dweller with two educations! However, it doesn't matter. The main thing is that with a great desire you can develop in yourself.

Be sociable!

1. If you want to be sociable, know how to be silent

It would seem that silence is so easy. But for most people, being silent is much worse than talking.

Let's remember the people from our environment and think about how many of them know how to listen to us silently, without interrupting. Most likely, to count them, the fingers of one hand are enough. And what about ourselves? Do we manage to listen to the interlocutor to the end, or do we impatiently wait for a second pause in his story in order to transfer the conversation to a topic of interest to us? Do we like to interrupt the narrator in order to finish his thought ourselves? Or interrupt his speech with the words: “I have already heard this”, “You have already said this”, “I am not interested in this”?

If we are bad listeners, then only our friends and relatives can get used to and forgive us for this shortcoming, but others will not tolerate it. Therefore, we will never do in areas where you need to communicate with people.

To be able to listen is not just to be silent. After all, you can portray attention by delving into your own thoughts, and the interlocutor will immediately realize that he is indifferent to us. This will offend him no less than if we interrupt him and "change the record." We really need to be inspired by his words and show interest with head nods, phrases that will show that we have not lost the thread of the conversation, such as: “Who would have thought!”, “You must have been very upset (was happy)”, etc. - depending on the situation. The main thing is to let the person talk.

There are many examples when silent listeners were called excellent interlocutors.

But why should we listen to what, perhaps, we are not at all interested in and show attention? First, we decided to become sociable. Secondly, if we did not ignore the person, but entered into a conversation with him, then we need him for some reason. But we will not interest him until we ourselves show interest and attention to him.

2. Talk to people about topics they are interested in

Why? He gave an exhaustive answer to this question. He noticed that there is only one way to influence another person: to talk with him about what he wants, what he aspires to, and open to him the way how to get it. To make it quite clear, Carnegie gave an example that was adopted by people involved in sales. It is also known as the strawberry and cream principle.

Dale Carnegie said that he loves strawberries and cream, and fish loves worms and grasshoppers, so when he goes fishing with the intention of catching it, he hooks on the hook what the fish loves, not him, that is, the worm, not the strawberry . Otherwise, you won't see the catch.

This means that if we want to please a person and interest him, then we must talk with him on topics that are close to him, and not to us. The subject of his interests can be clarified with the help of leading questions. If we guess right, then we may not have to speak ourselves, but only actively listen will be enough. So we can keep up the conversation even about things in which we are not particularly competent. People like to feel their importance, so we will help them with this.

3. We cultivate tolerance in ourselves

With some interlocutors it is impossible to talk for more than a few minutes, because they recognize only one point of view - their own. And it turns out, as in a joke about instructions for employees: “p. 1. The boss is always right; point 2. If the boss is wrong, see point 1. What kind of exchange of opinions can we talk about if the interlocutor immediately enters into an argument in order to prove his case!

“Do you want to be right or happy?” the sages ask and advise you to shy away from disputes. After all, the more we argue, the more fiercely our interlocutor will defend his opinion, so we won’t prove anything to him anyway. And if we nevertheless prove it by “pinning it to the wall” with iron arguments, then we will feel ourselves “on a horse”, and he will be a fool. And it is unlikely that he will want to continue acquaintance with us.

Outgoing people refrain from categorical judgments. Even if the dispute is fundamental and we are sure that we are right, it is better to show delicacy so as not to put the other in a humiliating position and give him the opportunity to maintain his dignity. We can say something like, "Until recently, I was sure of that too, but yesterday's events have shown me to be wrong."

In addition, we can also be mistaken, and the truth will be somewhere in the middle. Therefore, instead of arguing and dispersing offended, it does not hurt to put yourself in the place of another person and understand his point of view. For example, two people looking at a rectangular table from different sides - straight and side, will have a different opinion about its size. And both of them will be right in their own way. So before judging any subject, it is important to have a complete picture of it.

4. Smile

Each of us will be much more willing to deal with a person on whose face a benevolent smile shines. It is impossible to be sociable and at the same time have a sour face on your face. People instinctively shun those from whom malevolence emanates.

True, some supporters of natural behavior say that sincere unfriendliness is better than an artificial smile on duty. However, we prefer to communicate with smiling people. And so that our own smile does not seem glued, we “put on” it not immediately, but a second after we see the person to whom it is intended.

5. We try to adjust to the mood of the other person.

Communication can be compared to dancing, where you need to get in time with a partner, catch the rhythm of his movement. A sociable person has, allowing him to feel the mood of the interlocutor.

For example, we return from the store, our hands are busy shopping, and we are stopped by a friend with a story about how wonderful he had a vacation. We feel like a squeezed lemon, full of energy. At another time, we would have listened to him with pleasure, but now his animation only causes irritation.

Or we need to finish a report urgently, and a friend is excited about her daughter's upcoming wedding and is trying to tell the details. Different levels of energy, a mismatch of moods can provoke a quarrel, which both parties will later regret.

A sociable person, before choosing a topic and tone of conversation, will make sure whether they correspond to what is now happening in the soul of the person in front of him.

The modern world is often unfair and cruel. People who are insecure and closed often remain outsiders. Especially the problem of communication is in youth. Guys and girls cannot find friends, defend their opinion, they are not interesting to their peers. How to become more sociable? You need to develop communication skills, fight with your own complexes, insecurity. At first glance, this task seems impossible. But if you approach the matter responsibly, perform special exercises and use the advice of psychologists, you can see the result in a couple of weeks - the interest and recognition of others.

Why am I so uncommunicative?

Many attribute their lack of sociability to banal complexes or insecurity. In fact, the problem is always deeper. Understanding yourself is not always easy. It is not very pleasant to remember, and even more so to recognize any negative facts. But it is extremely important to do this, otherwise all classes will resemble the fight against windmills. Most often, the lack of sociability hides:

What to do?

How to become a sociable and talkative person, the soul of any company? First of all, you need to get rid of uncertainty and start opening up to people, accepting yourself as you are.

There are no perfect people, everyone has positive and negative traits. There are things that people can fix, and there are things that they can't. You need to work on yourself, improve yourself, but do not avoid communicating with people.

Exercises

In our age, there are many methods and exercises to develop communication skills. If funds allow, it is better to go to group classes. But you can learn something on your own. We offer 3 exercises that will help you become a sociable person:

Author's advice. At the age of 15, I dreamed of becoming a sociable, talkative girl, but did not know how. All the time she was pinched and shy. A change of scenery helped me. We went with my parents to the sea and I met one girl, and then her whole company. I was just asking where you can go. Then the conversation started on its own. Having stayed at sea for 2 weeks, I got a huge experience of communication, I realized that I can be an interesting and cheerful conversationalist. Therefore, I can advise you to simply start talking to people, put aside your fear, and then it’s a matter of practice.

Becoming sociable is not so difficult, for this it is enough to start talking with others. Much harder not to pass for a bore or annoyance. To earn a reputation as an interesting, sociable and cheerful person, you need to heed the advice of psychologists:

Finally, I would like to give one more small, but very important advice. A sociable person makes no effort to strike up a conversation. He doesn't need patterns or rules. He enjoys communication. Therefore, all you need is to want to share opinions, useful and not so information with people. Good luck!

Irina, Vladivostok

How to become open and sociable if you are, by nature, a shy person, and it is difficult to call your life interesting? After all, an unsociable person, has almost no friends, very rarely makes new acquaintances, and when he gets into a new company, he sits silently, shy, not knowing how to start or maintain a conversation. It is difficult for such a person as an introvert to get along in a team. Colleagues do not accept silent people and loners, and communicate with them with caution. Even when applying for a job, the employer pays attention to the sociability and sociability of the applicant for a good position. If you are a sociable person, you are more likely to make a career.

How to become sociable

Problems in communication are actually experienced by a large number of people. According to statistics, there are 25% of introverts in the world, and if you are one of them, then questions are inevitable: how to develop sociability in yourself, if you were born that way, does this mean that your life will be full of failures, and how to learn to be sociable?

This situation can be easily corrected if you seriously think about how to become a master of communication. Moreover, you will need to not only change yourself, but also your behavior. You will have to work hard to get rid of unnecessary features, learn self-control, not put off things for later, but act here and now. If you develop these qualities in yourself, becoming a more sociable person, you will immediately see how your life will begin to change for the better.

Find common ground

The meaning of communication is that people who often communicate with each other become closer to each other, due to the fact that they have their own points of contact. They are united by common interests or hobbies, common views, etc. Therefore, in order to become open and sociable in any company, you must, as best as possible, understand those areas that are of interest to your interlocutors. Only after that, your communication with them will become easier and more relaxed.

Need to be yourself

If you seriously have a question about how to become a sociable and interesting person, then first learn to express your position openly. Do not be shy and afraid of the reaction of others if your opinion causes them disagreement, or even aggression. Just ignore them, and always be yourself - this is the best thing you can do in this situation.

Less criticism

Many people do not understand how to become more sociable, because they see only flaws in others. Remember, a self-confident and sociable person finds only positive qualities in the environment, which is why he succeeds in making friends, communicating, and not being lonely. Stop criticizing everyone and making fun of others who, in your opinion, are worse people than you. If you are a misanthrope, then learn to be friendly. Treating people with respect will help you make friends easily.

smile

How to become more sociable if you walk all the time with a serious or sullen face? A smile expresses interest and favor to the interlocutor, and should be appropriate. If you smile all the time, then those around you may misinterpret your good intentions to become more cheerful and sociable, and this, oddly enough, will push them away.

Improve yourself

You must become a well-rounded person, and this will require improvement in various areas. If you begin to develop yourself, you will be confident in your abilities, your stiffness will disappear, more topics will appear for conducting dialogues with people, and, as a result, others will have the opinion that you are a sociable person.

Communicate on social networks

There is no better way to solve the problem of how to develop sociability than social networks. It is here, as well as possible, that you can practice communicating with people and make friends. In the social networks, the easiest way is to become a relaxed and sociable girl, or to be a more open guy. After all, communication, without eye contact, is much easier, because no one will see your embarrassment.

Know how to listen

How to become a good interlocutor? Just learn to listen to the person you are talking to. Show interest in him, ask any question that interests you, and wait until he finishes answering. Human psychology is such that it is important for him to speak out to the end. Having shown your respect for the interlocutor, give him this opportunity. If you start a conversation, then you should listen to your opponent at ease and with interest on your face. In no case do not yawn, do not look around, do not look at the phone all the time when you are having a dialogue with a person. He will quickly figure out your fake interest, and the next time, no matter how friendly you seem, he simply will not want to communicate with you.

Being sociable, in this case, does not mean that you need to endlessly listen to the opponent's monologue. Also, you need to take the initiative, and translate the interlocutor to topics that are of interest to you. This technique will help you become a more talkative and liberated person.

Love yourself

If you are having trouble becoming outgoing and confident, then first pay attention to how you treat the people around you. Do you respect them? And do you have respect and love for yourself? How to become sociable if you are full of negativity? Remember, a person feels at the subconscious level how you feel about him, and above all, how much you love yourself. Based on these data, people form an opinion about you, according to which they build their behavior in relation to your person. Therefore, in order to become an open and sociable person, it is necessary to love and respect yourself, as well as to know your worth. This will surely increase your ranking in the eyes of the people. But, on the subject of self-esteem, don't overdo it so you don't look like a pompous, stupid person.

hello

Feel free to say hello to people you don't know well, and even more so to people you know well. The question of how to become talkative will resolve itself if you set a goal for yourself to do this regularly, and sometimes even start a conversation with a stranger, for example, in a shopping line. This tactic will help solve the problem of how to become more sociable.

Speak beautifully

How to become easier in communication if those around you hardly understand? Of course, among the narrow circle of people with whom you are accustomed to communicate, your slang is familiar and understandable to everyone. But what if you, trying to speak this language with other people, immediately feel alienated, misunderstood, and sometimes even aggressive towards you? To become easy to communicate, you will have to remember how to speak the literary language and try to put it into practice. So that you are not embarrassed about how to pronounce this or that word, try to read fiction and increase your vocabulary.

Be funny

How to become cheerful when communicating? Any social circle of interests has a certain set of jokes, as well as their level. First, don't try to become talkative. Listen to people, especially in a new company, and determine what they react to and what makes them happy. After that, you can become more talkative if you prepare for the next meeting with friends by reading a lot of witty jokes or funny anecdotes on the Internet, be sure to write them down on paper. The more jokes will be poured from you, the more cheerful, interesting and sociable person you will be considered by others. This fact will certainly help you to liberate yourself.

act

Without drawing up a clear plan of action on the issue of how to become sociable - you can not do. It is necessary to perform some action every day, sometimes forcing yourself to communicate with people, even if you do not have the desire to do so. Let these actions become mandatory for you, for example, like brushing your teeth in the morning. Only this way will help you make new acquaintances or friends, and become a sociable person.