Happy New Year to you, my beloved!

Someone will receive an iPhone as a gift, while others will receive drunken screams ... Let's deal with this injustice.

Screaming, humiliation and insults in the family are often underestimated. It seems that this is nonsense, because everyone is yelling, going mad and calm down. But it only seems so. If a man begins to insult, humiliate or raise his voice, these are very alarming calls. They ring about the beginning of the end of your relationship. You have the last opportunity to fix everything, and if this is not possible, exit the relationship with minimal losses before it is too late.

The reasons why a man screams, insults and humiliates a woman

asserts itself. At work or in a circle of acquaintances, he is not respected, and he takes revenge on those who are weaker and cannot give him back. Or you are more successful in life than him and with his screams he tries to show who is the boss in the house. First of all, myself.

you yourself insult him, humiliate him, raise your voice and try to fix him, because he is not the right one. Even if you don't say harsh words, keep in mind that humiliation can be different for a man. For example, you try to control him, lisp in public, criticize him “on business”, press on feelings of guilt and pity, joke about his qualities and sexual abilities, and so on. The list can be long and unexpected in many ways.

you didn't fight back in due time. Once it all started with small, not very pleasant, but not too offensive name-calling, raising your voice, barely noticeable criticism addressed to you and other trifles that not every woman can notice and pay attention to. Read more about such small signs, as well as why this is happening and what to do about it, in the article. You were silent and pretended that everything was in order, because you did not want to swear over trifles. Then he became more impudent, and you endured, because "that time she kept silent because of this, this time it will be strange and illogical to be indignant, I'm afraid to seem like a fool." He realized that with you it is possible and nothing will happen to him for it. I relaxed and it went too far.

his inferiority complex. He considers himself insignificant, and so that you do not leave him, he is trying to morally kill you. He says that no one needs you except him, all crooked and oblique, another in his place would have long ago got himself a mistress or even abandoned you, but for some reason he suffers.

you are too dependent on it. Morally and / or financially. A man understands that you will not get away from him, you will have nothing to live on, you will not give up his benefits, and takes advantage of the position, tyrannizing you on what the light is.

he takes revenge on you. For insults or betrayal, for parting with him, for the fact that you are somehow cooler than him. Maybe he is offended by the whole world and insults everyone who gets in his way, but you just fell under the distribution.

Whatever the reason, it is important to stop the insults URGENTLY at ANY cost. After all, where they insult - there they will start beating, and where they beat - sooner or later they will finish off. And if they do not finish off, then respect, passion and love for each other will disappear, they will be replaced by resentment, disappointment and hatred. You hardly want that. So let's decide what to do about it.

How exactly NOT to react to his insults

🚫 insult in return. This will aggravate the situation and lead to rupture;

🚫 threaten to break up and not do it. He will understand that the price of your word and dignity is zero;

🚫 put forward demands in a hysterical fit. He is unlikely to hear them, and he certainly will not take them seriously, so first you need to wait until everyone calms down;

🚫 hope that this will pass and the situation will somehow change itself. Will not change! Your surgical intervention is needed;

🚫 to justify him: “well, he drank, what a demand from a drunken man”, “yes, his boss brought him, I won't be here with my grievances yet,” “he has a mad temperament, he will cry and cool down”, “I’m to blame, not so cooked / stroked / looked ”and so on. There are no and cannot be excuses for insults! He is an adult and is able to take responsibility for his actions, and even control himself;

🚫 Complain to parents, relatives, friends and bystanders. You will forgive him later, but they will not. Read more about the dangers of complaints about your husband.

How to respond to insults from a man

0. If you yourself have a mustache - curse, yell at him and let go of taunts at him.

This has no place in a family! Irony and sarcasm destroy relationships just like alcoholism and mistresses. Laugh at anything with him, but not at each other and not at what is dear to another. Then having fun will strengthen your relationship.

Begin to change, even if you think he deserves to be insulted by his behavior. Moreover, ask him to monitor and evaluate your efforts in working on yourself. Say, “Honey, I realized how wrong I was. Please forgive me. There should be no swearing and humiliation in the family, because we are the closest and most loving people. We must be able to negotiate humanly. From now on, I promise not to call you these terrible words, for which I am very ashamed later, and not to raise my voice. Let's figure out a punishment for me if I lose it. And a reward for me if I do not utter a single offensive word to you within a month. "

If you come up with a good enough reward and an unpleasant punishment, then the method will work. Then extend the experiment by six months. When he sees that you are trying your best and restraining where you would have given him a three-story one, he will automatically begin to follow your speech. After all, he will feel respect and love in your efforts.

1. It has just begun to manifest itself, and you have nothing to do with it.

The man sometimes began to behave more rudely than usual, raise his voice at you or the children, make ambiguous jokes at you, not even wanting to offend you, just by accident.
Don't get away with it! Otherwise it will get worse.

For example, he gently patted you on the stomach and called you "a little hippo." Anxiety! Most likely, a "fat cow" is just around the corner, regardless of your weight. Therefore, pout your lips in pictures and grumble: “Why are you calling me that? I don’t like this nickname. I like what you called me before ... "

He raised his voice to you. Don't hide your emotions, you don't like it? Show him your upset face and say, “I can't help myself, but when someone yells at me, I feel like crying or screaming back. And I certainly cannot understand what exactly they are telling me. I don’t catch the meaning. So please speak calmly, I perceive it much better and I can hear you. "

He swore in front of you. Not at you, but simply used an obscene expression in your presence. If you tolerate this, your rating in his eyes will automatically drop a little, and in the end, mats will be poured on you. Therefore, tell him (first wait until you are alone): “I am very unpleasant with such words from you, they upset me and spoil my mood. I don't know why I am so sensitive. Others are indifferent to me, I react to them less, and you are my closest person, which is probably why such a strong reaction. Please do not swear in front of me, if it is not difficult for you. "

2. He's in trouble, he takes off on you.

The main thing here is not to try to endure, not to hope that over time everything will settle down and he will calm down. He will get used to yelling at you, and he will no longer need reasons. Don't wean it later.

And even more so not to try to be softer and fluffier with him in response to insults! With an emphasized gentle attitude, you want to support him, smooth out his difficulties and not pay attention to temporary mood swings, and he develops a false reflex that if he wants an affectionate wife, you need to whip at her.

And certainly to insult him in return is not an option at all and not support of a loving wife.

Instead, at the first irritating tone, tell him, “Darling, I understand that you are now in some difficulty. I know perfectly well that you can cope with everything, because you always did it and in general, well done! But I can’t bear it if you take evil on me. This is unfair and offends me to the core. Better tell me how I can relax you. How do you want me to relieve stress from you? I know many nice ways ... "

3. You started all this, and he already swears and swears at you with might and main.

Or for a long time he asserts himself at your expense, is offended by the whole world, takes revenge on you or you are too dependent on him ... CARAUL! We need urgent sanctions!

Set boundaries. Say: “I love you and I understand that it is hard for you. But I will not tolerate unworthy behavior in my address from anyone, especially from the closest and beloved person. The next time I hear from you at least one offensive word, you and I will not talk for 3 days. If this happens again, we will part for 2 weeks. But if this does not help, then we will part forever. "

And he should be the first to put up with you in 3 days and in 2 weeks. Waiting for you to roll yourself? Let him wait! Until he appears with flowers and apologies, you cannot put up with him. Because he doesn't really need you. If he needs to try to earn your favor, then he will appreciate him much more, and will try not to bring him to parting.

If he brought it to the third time, then you part with him. Reacts indifferently - so be it. If he knocks your doorstep, does things (helps you and your parents, takes away, brings, gives money, treats your cat, arranges your brother for work) and tries in every possible way to win you over, then if you wish, you can forgive him for the last time, but at least in 2-3 months, so that he had time to really change. Let him try hard! And he will understand that it is much easier and cheaper not to mow than to rake it later. It will reach him that he really runs the risk of losing you, and only then will he overestimate your role in his life.

Naturally, there shouldn't be a fourth time. After all, some men, who are naturally inclined to sadism, marry very quickly on purpose (in the very first months they say: “You are my destiny, as I saw, I immediately understood”) and have a child so that a woman cannot escape. First, the little ones, and then show their true nature. Therefore, the boundaries must be iron. If you have run into a tyrant, at least you will leave with minimal losses. And henceforth you will be more picky.

If he asserts himself at your expense and reproaches you, although you are more successful than him, then there is an interesting way to stop it. Start praising and admiring him. Give thanks for what he does (along with setting boundaries, of course). After all, in such a perverse way, he may be trying to get respect and love from you. And if you are more successful than him, then it is difficult for you to respect him, and even more so there is nothing to admire, because you are cooler. Search and find reasons. Here, of course, a thorough work is needed, because first of all he must be forgiven for previous offenses.

4. "Excuses".

First, he insulted you drunk or in a drug frenzy. By themselves, these bad habits do not bode well. If you put up with this - your business. But for insults, this cannot be an excuse! He will numb you, and of course, over time, he will start to beat you. Therefore, an urgent need to stop the disgrace.

Wait for him to sober up and tell him: “I don't like your drink, but I respect you and leave it to you to decide whether to drink or not drink. But I will not tolerate any insults, and your inadequate state is not a valid reason. Therefore, if you cannot control yourself after drinking, you will have to part with either alcohol or me. "

In this case, you yourself will have to completely abandon alcohol, wine gatherings with friends and hangouts in bars. The law in the family should apply to everyone, especially if it is dry law. Otherwise, he will feel lonely and flawed, everyone can, but he cannot. The consequences are unpredictable.
And here again it is important not to play the games "I left to return". Chooses vodka - let him live with it. Otherwise, you will lose yourself and then you will not piece it together.

Similar behavior with his explosive temperament... Let him learn to look after himself. He's a grown man and doesn't yell at the boss, no matter how infuriated he may be? Is there at least one person in the world with whom he chooses expressions? It means that he is quite capable of controlling himself. Why are you worse than his boss?

If he yells at everyone indiscriminately, then he is inadequate. RUN !!! For a start, of course, you can torment yourself with a psychologist if your husband agrees to contact him. It helps some, although the path is not easy.

Another common excuse is a woman you are the one to blame... The borscht is sour, the arrow on the trousers is uneven, did not wake me up in the morning, did not smile at the meeting, gave rise to jealousy. This is not a reason to scream and humiliate! If someone does not like something, then usually people talk and agree in a human way, instead of tyrannizing the other. Therefore, the solution is the same as in the previous versions.

A separate speech if he is jealous for no reason. For example, someone molested you and you rejected the insolent person, your man saw it or you told him yourself. And then a surprise - he gets angry and says: "If a woman is being harassed, then she gave a reason." Many make a mistake and begin to make excuses to him, fawn and convince him of their loyalty. But he offended you with his mistrust!

What will happen if you react to insults with affection, I already wrote at the very beginning of the article. Instead, say, “You are an amazing, decent man. Only a worthy woman can be next to you. If you think that I am unworthy, then I will immediately vacate this place next to you so that it can be taken by the one that you deem more worthy. So do you doubt me? "

About jealousy in relationships and how to deal with it if you or he are jealous - I will write in future articles. Therefore, subscribe as you like.

Try never to do this. Don't allow yourself this. This shows our own ignorance as we are. But it also brings negative results. I will share one of them.

If a girl allows herself to raise her voice to her man, then expect the relationship to cool off dramatically between you. A man, consciously or not consciously, will move away from you, close off. That is why many men leave their wives, go to garages, start drinking or get heavily involved in work at best. This is because a man lacks love, care and affection from a woman. He does not need another man next to him, he needs femininity next to him!

Pushing him away, you will receive less attention, which will anger you, there will be even more accumulating discontent that will pour out on the man in one form or another, even if you remain silent - he will feel it. Which will make him even further away. Only a very strong man who develops spiritually will be able to oppose something to this, and then it will be extremely difficult for him, because the energy of a woman is many times stronger than the energy of a man. And there are very few men who are spiritually developing now, so the consequences will be dire.

When a man does not have femininity inspiration, when he begins to feel a man next to him (aggression, rudeness are typical of men), he will look for this femininity on the side. Therefore, the more often girls show masculine qualities, the faster they themselves break up the family, they themselves push the man to look for someone on the side to fill in the missing aspects. Over and over again, a man needs a feminine girl next to him, not a rude man!

Moreover, a man has a high need for sexual pleasure, and if a girl pushes him away from herself, then sexual desire will fall, but it does not go anywhere, and a man doubly strenuously, perhaps without even realizing, will glance at others, directing his attention there ... You will cease to be that only goddess for him.

We are used to raising our voices a little that is wrong, and we learn this from childhood, when our parents could scold us or when we saw it somewhere on the street.

Therefore, it does not matter what was the reason, if you raise your voice, you know, girls, you yourself destroy self-love. At these moments, one should not arouse aggression in oneself, but cry. Not a single man can resist tears, and sooner or later he will hear you, apologize, improve. But if you are aggressive at this moment, then this is very, very bad. Aggression can be internal. You can even say nothing, if you have this feeling inside, the man will feel it unconsciously.

If this happens inside you, dear girls, then let it stay inside you, than splash out on the man. Let him feel unconsciously, but not consciously unwind this negative tendency.

If we are used to shouting and aggression inside, then this tendency to remove is not very easy. And if we want happiness in a relationship, then we need to approach this issue with all seriousness and work on ourselves, on our reactions, outlook, because we will not be able to avoid all factors and situations provoking us.

As soon as we notice a rising wave of discontent within ourselves, it is important to stop feeding it and be distracted by something. For example, start monitoring your breathing, the flow of air entering and leaving your nostrils. This practice I often give in yoga classes to develop the habit of observing. If there is no such habit, then when we start to carry it will be very difficult to switch, we will carry and again screaming, scolding, etc.

The second thing we can do at the moment when negative emotions wake up inside of us is to start wishing happiness inside ourselves to the one at whom we are annoyed, for what we do not like. This practice is much more powerful, but also harder to make. We have a lot of resentment inside us, and our selfishness will not allow us to do it. He will say, we were offended, why should I wish more and happiness. But if you don't, you will follow a pattern that, as we have seen, will not lead to anything good. Therefore, try to overcome your selfishness and wish happiness to your beloved, your soul mate. Is your selfishness stronger than the feeling of love?

For both, it can be practice, patience. For a man, this shows how stable his consciousness is. For a girl, how feminine she is! And these are very important factors in the relationship between a man and a woman.

Dear readers, today we will answer the question of what to do if the husband yells at his wife. We will look at the reasons for this. You will learn how to behave in a similar situation.

The reasons

The husband yells at his wife most often when provoked. Let's look at what other factors can be a prerequisite for such a man's behavior.

1. Strong impulsivity. The type of temperament is choleric. This manner of communication is laid from within.
2. The presence of hidden fears. In this way, a person tries to close himself off from what scares him.
3. Dissatisfaction with needs. We can talk about both intimate problems and the lack of self-realization.
4. As a result of children's complexes.
5. Copying the father's behavior pattern. If a boy grew up in a family where such communication was normal, he grew up taking such behavior as a basis.
6. An emotional response to women's misconduct.
7. A way to show your superiority. This is observed when the wife is better than him in other aspects of life, she is in charge of the house, earns money, and makes decisions herself.
8. The norm of communication. A man considers this way of communication to be normal, thinks that his wife deserves such an attitude.
9. If the husband began to scream, although he had not done this before, it is possible that the reason lies in the disappearance of feelings for his wife, the appearance of a mistress. The second half begins to annoy with its appearance.
10. Serious mental problems.

What to do in such a situation

1. Think about it, maybe his screams are a manifestation of heightened anxiety associated with caring for the family.
2. Don't provoke your partner into violent attacks. No need to cut him down, reproach him for something, compare him with other men.
3. If the husband returned from work in a bad mood and is very angry with someone, then it is better not to fall under his arm and let him speak. It's better to just shut up.
4. If your husband begins to raise his voice at you, do not retaliate. So a scandal will flare up. It's terrible if your children witness this. Better it will be a monologue, and you just keep quiet while your spouse expresses all his claims.
5. If the man is in a bad mood, try feeding him your favorite food.
6. If you notice that your spouse is on edge, then it is better to hug and say how much you love him, ready to help him deal with all the troubles.
7. If you don't understand your husband's behavior, try putting yourself in his shoes. Think about how you yourself would react in this situation.
8. Try not to argue with your spouse, but you do not need to completely bow to his opinion. You should also have your own point of view.
9. When the husband comes home, a tidy apartment, a well-groomed wife, and a cooked dinner should be waiting for him. For men, home comfort and the desire to return home as soon as possible are very important.
10. Consider if you are giving your partner enough warmth and care.
11. Remember to be interested in his affairs.
12. If you suspect that the reason for this behavior is that the man no longer loves you, or that he has another, you need to calmly talk to him, try to clarify.
13. If you see that a scandal is brewing, your husband is about to explode, try to translate the topic of the conversation, distract your spouse to something.
14. If a man grew up in a family where such scandals were commonplace, then you cannot do without the help of a psychologist. The main thing is that he understands that such a pattern of behavior is not normal.
15. Try to talk to your loved one, explain to him your feelings. He may not even notice that this behavior is hurting you.
16. If the spouse is a despot, besides screaming, he begins to dismiss him, then life with such a person is simply unacceptable, no matter how much you would love him.
17. If you think your mother-in-law is turning your spouse against you, try to talk about it.
18. If you love a lot, and such behavior happens occasionally, and because of serious problems, the man does not let go of his hands, then you can endure.
19. If you think that the behavior of your spouse is a manifestation of mental problems, then you cannot do without the help of a specialist.
20. If you understand that such a relationship is not for you, you cannot stand constant screams and scandals, then it is better to divorce. It is worth considering whether you have children. On the one hand, destroying a family, leaving them without a father is bad. On the other hand, for them to grow up, seeing constant squabbles - it is even worse, so only the child's psyche is injured. However, before making such a radical decision, it is better to talk with your husband and tell about your intention. It is possible that this behavior was of a temporary nature, and was associated with some kind of inner experience.

My ex-roommate constantly fought with her husband. He was always unhappy and raised his voice to her. The woman was not silent, tried to answer as best she could. The situation was complicated by the fact that there were three children, two from their first marriage. Once, a neighbor brought his wife to such a state that she decided to climb into the noose. I still remember how her children came running to us, talking about it. My father intervened, kicked the neighbor out the door. My mom reassured my neighbor and convinced her to file for divorce. Here it is worth remembering the problem of many women - "who needs me like that, and even with children." It is this phrase that makes many wives endure a terrible attitude towards themselves for fear of being alone. The neighbor divorced, five years later she met a man with whom she is happy to this day.

Good day! My family life with my beloved man turns into hell. He constantly unreasonably criticizes me, raises his voice, and I hear only reproaches from him. And the further - the worse. Previously, he apologized for raising his voice, but now he says that you cannot talk to me in any other way. Everything I do, he says, is wrong. If I did THIS, he says that I should have done THIS, and if I did THIS, he says that I should have done THIS. I get out the wrong way, I cook the wrong way, I do everything at the wrong time. I tried to explain to him that this attitude hurt me. I used to try to understand, but now he answers that I have an unbearable character and I have to listen to his words and work on myself. By the way, it’s probably her own fault ... The first time I got married at 17 years old (by "flying"), separated from my husband a year later, because he was a real henpecked and amoeba, he did not even hide it, he did not strive for anything in his life and placed all decisions on me. As a result, I realized that I needed a husband, not a housekeeper and got divorced. However, without regretting anything, I have a wonderful son from him, for which many thanks to him. The divorce was only a joy to me, my child was growing up, I studied at the institute, went in for equestrian sports, diving, traveled a lot ... life was in full swing and depended only on me. Every year for the summer season, I went to work in Turkey - practice in diving and a child for six months at sea. When my relationship with my current husband began, I started my own business. It was 6 years ago, my son was 5 years old then. In relations with Tema, I gave him all my energy, it was enough for me then. I supported him in everything, he started having problems at work, they wrote off the shortage on him, I tried to help, as a lawyer gave advice, he seemed to listen to these advice and agree with them, but when the next day I asked if he did it as they discussed, he replied that "there is no need to tell me what to do." That was probably the first bell. We talked about the fact that he himself asks for advice, and when I advise him, he says “no need to indicate”. The result of the conversation was that he simply stopped talking to me about his problems, but this did not dare them, he let everything go on its own. I read books on psychology, tried to help without offending, picked up every word, tried to instill in him more self-confidence. It worked, but poorly. He became more confident in himself, but he let all things take their course, his favorite expression is that he who is not in a hurry is not late. Problems at work were resolved by paying off a nonexistent debt for the shortage ... A year later, they decided to get married. The organization of the wedding fell on me to a greater extent, because I had my own business and more free time. At that time, Tema worked as a driver in the same organization where he paid off his "debt". The wedding ended in scandal. At the end of the celebration, when I had to get home from the cafe, I had to call the drivers to come, pay off the cafe, collect things, figure out who was going to drive which car, etc., etc. I asked Tema to help me - call the drivers while I was dealing with other matters, but in response I heard that I should do everything myself, that in general, since I started organizing the wedding, I should do everything by myself and to the end, and he is not going to help me. ... these are my imperfections. I should have gotten divorced right away. But like many women, I thought everything would be better. I tried to change the situation when everything is assigned to me. I earned 2.5 times more, cleaning and the kitchen were only on me, and he was tired at work. My travels, work in Turkey, equestrian sports stopped. I didn't have the strength to do it anymore. I gave all my energy to him. Even my son began to pay less attention. I complained that he wasn’t taking us anywhere, we weren’t resting, we weren’t having fun, and he replied that he was tired at work, and if for me rest is a sport, active rest, then for him it is a sofa. 2 years ago I bought a small house in a village in Karelia. Since childhood, I did not want to live in a big city, Moscow bothered me. They decided that I quit my job (the business collapsed, most likely due to lack of time for it, because I gave all the time to Tema, worked in a large bank) and go to the village, arrange a child for school, look for a job ... and after 2 months Subject will arrive. He arrived only a year later. During this year, I myself coped with all the life in the village, which, by the way, is hard for an unusual city person, especially in winter. They even managed to quarrel with my husband over the phone. He promised that when he arrived, he would do all the amenities, repair everything, put the plumbing, etc. As a result, I had to do a lot myself, and what he did was alter or finish. All our life together, I PULL him with me, while he is offended that I can do something better than him, I know more about something than he, he does not seek to catch up and overtake me, but tries to throw me off down. My nerves give way, I want to cry, scream, sob. Already sometimes I began to drink !!! We have constant scandals, once a week, or even more often, but a child sees them! !! According to my story, you might think that he is generally a monster, but he is not. He loves my son very much, loves him as a dear, many, and I myself often simply forget that he is not his own by blood. He also will never change, never betray. He is quite an erudite person, it is interesting to communicate with him. These qualities of him always stopped me when I wanted to divorce. I also love him, although ... I already doubt it. I guess I just remember the happy moments of my life before the wedding ... Yesterday, while he was at work, I started repairing the floor in the hallway, which he had been going to do for 2 weeks and did not start in any way. Made a scandal. In his opinion, I have started repairing him on purpose, not to make a floor, but to humiliate him, to insult his manhood !!! Those. I purposely make the floor myself to show him that I am making it, but he did not. I insulted him with this, I do not respect him, we have matriarchy, and in general I am a man in a skirt and I do not know how to be a girl, I look like a man, I dress too, I do everything wrong, at the wrong time. I allocated the wrong time, I had to wait for it from work and do it together. Only now I have already gone through this, if I had waited for him, he would either say that he was tired, or that he lacks nails / bolts / eggs are in the way and let's do it tomorrow / the day after tomorrow / in a week / next year ... And in general it my idea is to live in the village, and it is not his fault that I am not successful. And then he will complain that he is depressed, because I humiliated him and he cannot do anything because of this. Do I really need to do without sex until next spring so as not to inadvertently humiliate such a sensitive nature. HELP!!! I do not know what to do!!! I'm tired of doing everything for him and not getting anything in return !!! This is not the first time I want to get a divorce, but. as soon as you really have to quarrel with him, breakfast in bed begins, flowers ... it is worth making up - everything returns to its original place. Tired of reproaches, insults, shouts. Building my family life, I practically burned all my bridges. I gave up my hobbies and hobbies, I don't communicate much with old friends ... it's a vicious circle, the impression is that he drove me into it so that I would not get away from him. The house in the village is a jointly acquired property, I don’t want to go to Moscow, but I don’t want to drive it away (although the house was bought entirely with my money, but this cannot be proved). Due to constant stress and abuse, I began to look much worse, I got fat, my nerves are not to hell. I don't want to live, let alone start everything from scratch. Yes, and like any woman, there is hope that everything will change for the better. He reproaches me that I have little rest, that my nerves are losing out because I haven’t ridden a bicycle for a long time, did not go fishing and did not swim. And if I suddenly remember about my hobbies, about the same fishing, then another portion of reproaches begins on the topic of useless pastime. I have lost my vital energy and I do not have the strength to start life anew, but I understand that it is unlikely that anything will get better, and if you decide to get a divorce, then you need to do it now and not look back. But I know that as soon as I quarrel with my husband and leave, he will immediately pretend that everything has changed, promise that there will be no more and I will believe again. HELP ME!!!

Each person has more than once faced a situation when, in a fit of anger, close people raise their tone in the course of a conversation. It is doubly painful and insulting if your significant other chooses such a model of behavior.

The reasons

The most common reasons your partner may yell at you are:

Such is a person's character;
he is ill-mannered and does not monitor his behavior;
mental disorder;
the problems at work that he projects on your couple;
disrespect for you as a person;
the costs of the profession - he is a company commander and is used to yelling at his subordinates;
he is notorious and thus tries to compensate for his shortcomings;
your significant other is unhappy;
something doesn't work out for him.

What to do

Ways to wean a person from shouting at you are pretty simple and work flawlessly:

1. If someone yells at you, just keep quiet. A little time will pass, and the person will stop behaving in this way, since he will not receive "feedback". Be calm and don't respond to raising your voice.

2. When the interlocutor starts shouting, try not just to speak more quietly, but to whisper. Then it will become difficult for him to listen to your words, and he will be forced to speak quietly.

3. Try to explain to the faithful that in a civilized society they communicate in a calm tone. And screaming is also a sign of weakness.

4. Say that you are not going to communicate in such a tone, so wait until he calms his ardor.

5. Offer to work together to understand the reasons for his anger. Perhaps the reason is not even you, but someone else. Someone really pissed him off, and you just fell under a hot hand. Analysis of the current situation and reflection will help dull anger, and the beloved will calm down.

6. Ask your partner not to introduce the work habit of speaking in a commanding voice into the home.

7. Take a chance and try to play on the loved one's fear of losing you. Threaten that you will go to sleep with your mother if he does not stop screaming. He will definitely turn down the volume if he really values \u200b\u200byou.

8. Just get up and leave the room, wait for a while when the passions subside.

9. Fun way: When your partner starts yelling at you, start barking like a dog. He will surely be surprised and shut up. Explain that this is how he looks from the outside when he yells at others.

10. If outbursts of anger towards you have become regular for your loved one, try to seriously talk to him about the thing that bothers you.

11. Study the relevant literature on psychology - this will certainly help in the future to easily cope with the manifestations of aggression of a partner and other people.

12. Sometimes screaming is a sign of mental disorder. Then the person needs not only your support, but also the help of a psychologist. Try to subtly hint to him about the need to make an appointment with a specialist.