Example # 1

The boy had a birthday, he was well celebrated. The kid is only five years old. The next day, the parents began to notice that when the child looked at them, he began to blink strongly, and the eyelids and eyebrows were often twitching. A few days later, they noticed that the baby was restlessly sleeping, jumping up all the time and shouting in his sleep: “What are you doing? Aren't you ashamed? "

After a while, the son began to behave strangely, he always followed his mother with his tail, did not let her go anywhere from the house, and if she went to the store, then he began to beat her, scream and cry. Mom took holidays with the child all the time, but his condition did not improve. A nervous tick passed to the cheeks and hands, the baby constantly clenched his fist, as if he wanted to hit someone. The parents decided to see a doctor, who in turn prescribed a sedative, the sleep improved, but the remaining symptoms remained, so they turned to the social service for personal relations.

It turned out that the boy hates his father, but he could not explain why this was happening. He constantly repeated that he was afraid of being alone and afraid of losing his mother. The kid in his five years argued that anything can happen to women, because they are defenseless. The patient was not in the mood, and he was constantly worried about his mother and pestered with questions: "Was it true that men are stronger than women?" To find out the reason for such a change in behavior, the parents decided to remember what happened on the baby's birthday. The mother was questioned for a long time, and then she said that when she and her husband remained in an empty room, he, despite the fact that she was against, forced her into intimacy. After that, the husband left the room, and the mother began to recover and suddenly heard the cry of her child. It turned out that the guys were playing hide and seek and the son was hiding in that room and could not help seeing everything that was happening there. Mom pretended that nothing had happened, although she herself was very worried. When she told her husband about this, they came to the conclusion that they would pretend that nothing terrible had happened.

A psychologist friend argued that because of this, the child could not have any illnesses, but the next morning the boy was already sick, he had a neurosis. The result was that the boy saw his mother's resistance during intercourse. The psychotherapist had to make a lot of efforts to return the child to his condition, but, in the end, he eventually recovered.

Example # 2

The parents brought a four-year-old girl to a doctor with complaints from NATO that she was masturbating. Outwardly, she did not differ from other children, then what happened to her?

You need to know that the baby will never tell you the reasons, doctors are always looking for them themselves. The main thing for a doctor is that he must understand the state of mind of a person. The girl was shy, but she wanted to command others. She wanted to be a leader, but why? If the baby felt deprived of attention, she immediately rushed to cry, but in another situation she began to irritate the genitals and she liked it, and she did it all the time, not hiding, but right in front of her mother.

What is the reason? The girl did not receive enough love from her parents, so she wanted to draw attention to herself by any means, but did not know how. One day she saw her parents having sex, so she began to imitate adults by masturbating. The girl was cured, but if the parents were more careful, this would not have happened.

If your child sees something forbidden or sees it all the time, then there is a risk that he will grow up inadequate, or even generally a maniac. Some believe that it is better for a child to see the parents' intercourse than their scandals. It's another matter if the baby sees dad not as a smama, but on the contrary, mom and dad. Children always feel betrayed.

Still, you should not allow such situations for the child to become a witness of some intimate relationship between you.

If the baby has his own room, then that's good, but if he still saw something that he did not need to see? Perhaps he will enter the room at the moment of the highest boiling point and will not understand anything, he will just come out and cry, or he may even feel disgusted. Do not let this situation go down, immediately calm down the baby, convince him that your love for him has not disappeared anywhere.

Do not worry yourself and do not try to yell at the child. It is very important for him what was on your faces that moment when he entered the room and saw all this. Your little one may think that something bad and scary has happened in the bedroom if you have hatred and anger on your face.

You can tell your child that you have been involved in a sports activity that can only be done by two people who love each other. Under no circumstances tell him that you played. For young children, play is sacred and he may hate you for not inviting him with you.

In no case shout or kick the baby out of the room with the words: “You are still small! This does not concern you! " Do not pretend to commit a crime.

Calmly explain to the little one that what he saw is the best thing that can happen in adults, perhaps it is even worth telling him that when he grows up he will also do it. We can say that you give him a sister or brother. There is nothing wrong with a child learning that children are sexually involved.

At the age of 2 to 3 years, children develop sexual curiosity, the boy wants to see how his mother will wash, and the girl is eager to shower with her father. It is important for children to know the differences between the naked body of a man and a woman.

If the baby is generally protected from everything, then problems may arise in the future. If suddenly a child enters the room when you are dressing up, you should not shout and kick him out, but from a young age teach him to knock before entering the room, wait a little, and then enter. If you still haven't taught your baby to do this, then do it now, before it's too late to correct the situation. Explain to the child that the next time, before entering the bedroom, let him knock. If you want to reduce the risk that he will see something wrong, put a lock or latch on the door, and if you sleep in the same room, then put a screen, this will reduce the likelihood of unpleasant situations.

But even if you are afraid that the child will see you, you should not refuse the compartment, just be careful - do it in the shower when the child is with his grandmother or walking in the yard.

Household chores are completely completed, and the child has been sleeping in his crib for a long time. Mom and Dad can finally be alone and go about their "personal" affairs. But suddenly, at the most crucial moment, completely unexpectedly, a baby appears on the threshold of the parent's bedroom. "What are they doing?" - in his eyes one can read both amazement and fear at the same time. At this point, it is important to try to remain calm and not focus his attention on the sight he saw.

We say no to panic

Scenes of this kind usually cause mixed reactions in children, bordering between curiosity and fear. Having "caught" their parents in an interesting activity, the baby may think that the mother is being hurt. His perception can be aggravated by nervousness on your part, accompanied by screams or angry statements about his visit. If this happens, dad will forever remain in the eyes of the child the villain and tormentor of mom. If the parents are embarrassed, fussy and nervous, the child can see this as confirmation of his fears, which can subsequently be reflected in his intimate life.

Remember, a love scene between parents can cause irreparable trauma to the child's psyche. The sexual relations of parents should always be shrouded in mystery, be in the "forbidden zone", and it is better to remain completely out of sight and attention of the child. But if it so happened that the baby took you by surprise with his sudden appearance, you will have to convince him that there is nothing terrible about this.

If your child is very tiny (under 5 years old) , in a calm voice ask him what happened and why he came. Perhaps he was simply afraid of the dark? Or wanted to drink? Be sure to ask him if everything is in order. When asked about what you did, tell me that "Dad did a massage for mom, hence the sounds and moans", or "Mom and Dad just hugged because they love each other very much"... Add also that you love him too, and hugging is quite natural for loving people.

It happens that children, waking up at night, are half asleep and do not fully realize what is happening. In this case, put on your clothes and walk him to your bed. Children have a subtle sense of your emotional state, so if you do not worry, they will not attach any importance to what they see.

Child over 5 years old you can ask to go out for a while and wait for you outside the door (or in your crib). After he leaves your bedroom, get dressed and walk up to him. Ask him without a shadow of indignation what he wanted. When he explains why he came to you, tell him in an absolutely calm voice: "Honey, please, another time, before you enter, knock on the door."... If he becomes alarmed, reassure him that everything is in order. You can say: “There are times when mom and dad want to be together. When we hug, we don't want anyone to see it. "

It happens that the children saw more than you think. They can then act a little cheeky to hide their awkwardness and ask you provocative questions: "And what were you doing there?" In no case do not give in to your impulses and do not scold them.

Never shout or scold your child. Be calm and don't show that something out of the ordinary has happened!

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn't think that the problem of stretch marks would touch me, but I will also write about it))) But there is nowhere to go, so I am writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method will help you too ...

At the age of 7-10, many children already know what's what. If a child has become an accidental witness to a bed scene, he may not ask about anything, believing that this is a "shameful" topic. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to talk about this first and once again show that you can talk about this with your parents, this topic is not bad and not taboo. Just make sure that the child really saw something - sometimes frightened mothers, after a conversation, belatedly realize that the sleepy child did not notice anything.

Without many words

In any case, first find out what exactly the child saw.... And it will turn out, as in one well-known old anecdote.

The son comes up to his father and says: "Dad, what is an abortion?" The flushed father tries to explain to his son what it is. Begins to talk about the complexities of the structure of the world, about how animals reproduce, then goes on to copulate people. The whole story is accompanied by the terms "intercourse", "conception", "fetus", "unwanted pregnancy" ... Having finished his long tirade, he finally looked at astonishedson and asked: "Son, where did you hear such a word?" What's the kid with wide eyes, sighing, replies: "You see, dad, we learn a poem at school and there are such words" ... And the waves moan, and cry, and splash. And the waves keep beating ABOUT BOARD ship ... ".

Therefore, do not rush to make excuses, it is better to wait and, according to the baby's reaction, determine how to behave further - to pretend that nothing happened or still explain to him about the peculiarities of the relationship between mom and dad.

Memo to parents

If you are still caught doing "that" lesson, there is reason to think about precautions. Even small children have a hard time experiencing such love scenes, sleep poorly after that, become anxious and become nervous. According to psychologists, the majority of people (mainly girls) who have problems in their sexual life became involuntary witnesses of the closeness of their parents in childhood. An image has formed in their head forever that it is very scary, disgusting and “painful”. As adults, they never manage to get rid of those negative moments of their childhood perception from their memory.

This situation can be avoided. Here are some ways to protect children from trauma:

1. Always keep your bedroom door closed... Better to put a lock or install a latch on it. So you will provide yourself with complete relaxation and will stop worrying about someone coming in.
2. Teach your child to knock before, how to enter the room... You must show this with your own example. Knock when you want to enter his room. He will be pleased with such an attitude - mutual respect is guaranteed for you.
3. If circumstances do not allow you to sleep in different rooms (small apartment, inconvenient arrangement of rooms), make a screen or curtain,separating your bed with your baby from each other. Of course, in this case, you need to restrain yourself and not allow yourself to loud noises, groans and sudden movements.
4. Be more creative. It is not necessary to make love only in the bedroom; you can master other places as well.So you will not only protect your baby from the "hard-hitting" spectacle, but also diversify your sexual relations.

Train your child to show love in your family - In the morning, greeting, kiss and hug, and in the evening wish you peaceful dreams. Stroke your baby on the head when you praise him, do not skimp on affection. Spend more time together. In such a loving family, the child will definitely be happy. And then, even if something "forbidden" appears to his gaze, it will not adversely affect his psyche.

What if your child "catches" you in bed with your husband?

The moment when the child is caught during sex is so awkward that many parents are at a loss as to what to do - to distract him to forget, or to try to answer his uncomfortable questions? In this video we will figure it out together with experts - psychologist Victoria Lyuborevich-Torkhova, TV presenter of the Let's Talk About Sex project Yulia Bortnik and star trainer, father of two children Vyacheslav Uzelkov:

- Honey, let's have sex?
- What are you! The son is still awake.
- No, he is asleep, look: "Son, please bring some water." (Silence)
- Come on.
Wild sex, violent orgasm, both reclined in ecstasy, and suddenly a child's voice from the darkness:
- How long will I stand here with water?

Joke

This awkward moment when the child "burned" the parents for sex. Well, what to do if the living space is small, and the libido is young and irrepressible. But somehow it is necessary to get out: look for words of excuse, come up with ridiculous excuses for walking. Just don't "sculpt" a story about pistils and stamens right off the bat, it's not so catastrophic.

How old is the child

The age of the child is very important here. A tiny toddler can "join the game" and sit on his father's neck, thinking that the parents are indulging. A preschooler can go into hysterics.

Up to 2 years

It couldn't be easier. The child has no idea what the parents are doing. The fact that his parents are naked does not shock him either - he sees his mother's naked breasts if she still feeds him, and dad walks around the house in shorts.

Quiet, don't panic! It is clear that it is very difficult to switch from sex to play, but it is necessary. Let papa put on his panties and engage in real pampering with the child: throws him under the ceiling in his arms, tickles, cuddles.

Without noticing anything catastrophic, the child forgets the strange scene in an instant. In the future, this will not affect him - the memory is not yet written so deeply into his tiny head. Well, the parents will have science - henceforth be more careful.

3 to 6 years old

Knowing nothing about sex, a child may be frightened: is dad hitting mom - it looks like he is trying to beat her from above, and she moans helplessly. The child may be so shocked that he will cry and rush to protect the mother.

You need to quickly pull yourself together, and translate everything into a joke or positive. You should not answer with a shout to his hysterics and be indignant:

What are you doing here? Well, I march to bed, to whom I said - sleep!

Let's be honest - the child will not fall asleep anymore, and in general for him it is a terrible stress because of the incomprehensible nightmare that he saw. It is impossible to go to sleep right away, because he needs to know what is happening between his parents.

What is it plausible to come up with?

“My dad is giving me a massage. I work all day and all my bones ache. And so that I do not get sick, my dad kneads me. " As a proof, you can demonstrate to the child how dad kneads mom's back, and mom moans under the pressure of his father's hands.

“Why are you so scared? We're indulging! We play wrestlers, who will beat whom. Dad proved that he is stronger, but this is dad! " And as a proof, dad will twist and turn in the child's arms, as if he also wants to prove who is stronger in the house.

“Oh, mom choked! Run away, sonny (daughter), quickly for some water, I'll give her artificial respiration! " An excellent excuse, you can just buy time to get dressed quickly and calm down. Mom will drink some water, thank the caring child, and everything will be forgotten.

You can always find a way out if the child has not stood for half an hour with a mug of water, as in that joke. But even if this happened, then do not panic. Then you can really explain everything so as not to mislead the child, but preferably without details about the pistils and stamens, and that children will be born from this. Just to say that adults sometimes do it after they get married. Mom does not hurt, dad does nothing wrong, but this is how love manifests itself in adults:

When you grow up, play a wedding and then you will understand everything. But children in the bedroom of adults have nothing to do at night.

And no more explanation. The embarrassment does not need to be resolved, and even more so to return to conversations on this topic. If the child is psychologically traumatized, then promise him that you will no longer, and continue to be more careful.

7-14 years old

At this age, many children already theoretically understand what's what. Even first-graders explain this process to each other on their toes. And even rare parents put a blocker on different sites on the Internet, so porn is available to everyone. Children are now advanced, pampering cannot explain such an embarrassment.

In this case, the child will not stand and look at the whole process. His reaction will be reasonable. He will exclaim "Ouch" and immediately close the door behind him. No need to run after him and explain something. He himself will be embarrassed, and he himself will not want to talk about it. Therefore, it is better to just hush up this embarrassment.

Life stories

Here are examples of real stories in which the parents contrived as best they could. Many “got out” in front of the child with fairy tales about massage, pampering and the like. But there are also original excuses, almost anecdotal, but effective.

My husband and I completely fell into ecstasy and did not notice how our four-year-old son was standing nearby and sniffling. To the question: "What are you doing here?" husband answered honestly: "we are fucking!" (the first thing that came to mind). The son did not understand the meaning of this word, but the answer completely satisfied him, and he went to sleep in his room.

Alya, 24 years old

Our six-year-old son took us by surprise - naked and in a worker-peasant pose. Apparently, the child is advanced - he understood everything and immediately sobbed: “I don’t want a brother!”. The husband immediately found something to say: "If you run into our room at night without asking, then a brother will be born, and if you sleep like all children, then he will definitely not work." The child did not come to us again without asking.

Natasha, 27 years old

Our seven year old daughter Irishka is a very hyperactive child. It is impossible to calm her down either day or night, she also tries to sleep with us. Having normal sex with her husband is a real problem, so she has already caught us several times, but was indifferent to it.

Once my grandmother came and asks Irishka: “Well, what did you do yesterday?” To which Irishka calmly replied: “I played, and my parents had sex. Mom is like this: "Ah-ah", and dad is like this: "Uh-uh" ". It's embarrassing, of course, but I realized that for her there is no tragedy in this.

Anna, 30 years old

We have a small one-room apartment, five-year-old Dasha's bed is next to our sofa. In the bathroom, sex is very crowded, you have to run to the kitchen in bathrobes and somehow get attached to the table.

One night, when I was moaning loudly, Dasha burst in with her eyes round with fright. I immediately came to my senses and told my husband: “This is how the owl cries. And here is how the donkey shouts: 'Eeyore'. " In general, we explained to our daughter that we are playing the game "In the world of animals", imitating their voices. Well, at least they were in robes.

Lera, 28 years old

Prevention of such embarrassment

Do you remember the movie "Meet the Fockers" when a hat was hung on the door handle for a child so that he would not enter the bedroom during parental sex? A kind of warning sign.

Or the film "Strange Relatives" with Denny de Vito, when an adult son became an unwitting witness to parental sex, hiding in the closet. This is a reminder to adults that walls have ears too.

To prevent such situations, you need to do the following:

Hang the latch on your bedroom or kitchen door. It is advisable to make it higher so that the child does not reach and close himself.

Have sex under the covers and in your sleeping clothes. It's easier to blame it on something simple, like tickling pampering.

Inspect the room before having sex. The child can, like in the movie "Strange Relatives", hide from you in the closet or under the bed, and then it will be very awkward.

In general, in order to arrange violent sex with and other "pampering", it is best to give the child for the weekend to grandparents. Both of you are relaxed, and you will save your child from unpleasant scenes.

Valeria Chumakova 03/20/2015 48206

The child went into the bedroom of mom and dad to talk about a nightmare, and saw the parents having sex. What to do in this delicate situation?

Basically, parents try to protect the child from "intimate" information as long as possible. But often there are "failures" - the child unexpectedly finds his parents during sex.

Don't panic! We analyze the situation from a psychological point of view and correctly get out of the situation.

Your strategy will depend on the age of the child. But most importantly: stay calm, even though it's not easy.

If a child sees the angry look of his father, a frightened mother and hears screams in his address, he will decide that something really bad has happened in the bedroom.

Sex saw a kid 2-3 years old

A small child under three years old will most likely not understand what is happening. He may think that this is a game:

• parents tickle each other, have fun (this is a positively colored state);
• parents fight, offend each other (this is a negatively colored state).

Your task - to determine in which of the states the child is at the moment.

If he thinks that you are just playing, smiling, confirm this, say that you will also play with him. At the same time, send him to the room (for a toy or for something else) so that you can get dressed. Then play a little with the child or read a fairy tale to him, demonstrate that nothing unusual has happened, and put the baby to bed.

If the child initially thought that the parents are fighting, offending each other, dad hurts mom, etc. - your task is to bring everything back into the game.

Demonstrate that you are fun, otherwise it was just a game. Talk to your baby in a calm, even voice. He must understand that parents will not offend each other. After that, you can take the child to the crib, read a fairy tale.

When translating the situation into a game, emphasize that you and your dad are playing the same games as with your child so that he does not come to you every night in the hope of "unusual" fun.

Sex saw a preschooler 4-6 years old

At this age, children already understand a lot. They should tell them “half-truths”: explain to the child that you and dad were just hugging and kissing. All people who love each other do this. In confirmation, you can kiss or hug the child so that he feels your good mood.

In the morning, carefully ask the child about his "night adventures", about what he saw. If the child was frightened, for example, by sounds and moans, explain that this can be from pleasure, there is nothing to worry about.

Do not forget that a child of 4-6 years old needs to explain the reason for what is happening so that he really believes in it. Otherwise, the child will ask questions to you or someone else, or will start peeping, trying to figure it out on his own.

And in general, from this age, try to adhere to the position of the personal space of everyone in the family. For example, do not enter your child's room without knocking if the door is closed. Learn to respect the personal space of your son or daughter, then the child will do the same: when he sees the closed door to your bedroom, he will first knock.

To prepare the ground for a conversation with a child on intimate topics in the future, now you don't need to lie about what you saw, but you shouldn't reveal all your cards at once.

Sex saw a child of primary school age - 7-10 years

Children of this age already know the nuances of relations between men and women, therefore, seeing their parents having sex, it will be impossible to reduce the situation to "hug games". If you are caught in a spicy moment, try to keep calm. Ask the child to return to their room, get dressed, and tune in to the conversation.

The main thing is not to shout, not to make claims to the child (“I told you to go to bed!”, “Why are you walking in the middle of the night ?!”, etc.). You should be calm, because for the child this is no less stressful than for you.

The conversation is necessary so that the child does not have unpleasant feelings towards parents, anger or fear. Start by asking what your child knows about sex. You can correct, supplement his ideas about sex, and it is also worth emphasizing that this happens between loving people, while they kiss and hug.

Consider buying a children's book about the relationship between men and women. There are a lot of such literature on sale now (it can be useful both for you yourself, in order to find the right phrases when communicating with a child, as well as for enlightening the child). The main thing is to carefully review the content and illustrations, flip through the book and check the authority of its author, so as not to buy questionable reading materials.

Don't stop your child from asking questions. Better let him find out the answer from his parents than from someone on the side.

Your main task: calmness, not an ounce of embarrassment, shame. Also, the child should not see that, for example, you are uncomfortable or unpleasant to talk to him about this topic.

Calmness and conversation from the position of a kind teacher in the field of relationships are your main helpers with your child at this age stage.

Sex saw a teenager 11-14 years old

During adolescence, children are most often well-versed in sex. However, it is one thing to hear or know that "someone is doing this" and quite another to find your parents doing it. Teenagers are very emotional, and this situation can lead them to a state of anger, rage, jealousy, or, on the contrary, depression, despair.

Your task is to establish contact with the child, regain his trust, emphasize his significance for you, explain that he is already big and that what he saw is absolutely normal for loving people.

Do not choose the "did something happen?" and do not hide your eyes from the child because he has seen and understood everything. Become as natural and open as possible towards your teenager.

Also, an important point and a good occasion will be a frank conversation on serious topics of puberty, sex, relationships, etc. However, not from the position of "child-parent", but rather on an equal footing.

You need to bring your child back into emotional balance with your support, sincerity and openness. The best strategy for this is chatting.

Psychologists, on the other hand, are convinced that the child's attitude to the scenes of parental intimacy he sees is greatly influenced by the reaction to the child who has appeared at the door. The most important thing is not to panic and focus on sensitive scenes.

What to tell a child “about it”?

Scenes in which parents make love most often cause an extremely ambiguous reaction from the child who sees them, which borders between interest and fear.

Having found parents in such a delicate situation, a small child may think that dad is hurting mom. Dad's irritability, screams, impartial statements about his walking around the house will assure him of this thought.

This parental reaction will lead the child to perceive the father as the villain and the mother's tormentor. If after this the adults begin to remain silent, to behave nervously, the baby will become even more confident in his suspicions, which, as a result, may negatively affect the parent-child relationship.

Ideally, a child should not witness adult-to-adult sex. However, this is not always possible, therefore, if the kid "declassified" you, you need to find the correct explanations. The choice of words will undoubtedly depend on the age of the young witness.

If the child is 2 - 3 years old

A two- or three-year-old baby who has found mom and dad at the moment of intimacy, due to age and psychological characteristics, does not understand what is happening.

In this case, parents should behave calmly and quickly come up with the simplest explanation for their actions, otherwise the baby will begin to be actively interested in what happened, which can lead to an awkward situation.

Most often, experienced adults say that dad gave mom a massage, they were just having fun, playing, etc.

In this case, you should not dress in the presence of a small witness, on the contrary, he should be sent on business: bring a handbag, a glass of water, see what the pet is doing, etc.

After the child returns, and mom and dad put themselves in order, you can play with him a little. Let his father roll him on his back, mom will give him a fun massage. This is necessary for the baby to be sure that everything is in order.

Many children at this age have various fears. If you leave the situation without explanation (even completely ridiculous, from an adult point of view), then he may think that the father is beating his mother, and her screams are caused by pain.

It is important to rid the child of negative emotions. To do this, you need to talk to him calmly, kindly, focusing on the fact that he is mistaken, dad did not want to hurt mom, on the contrary, parents have extremely warm feelings for each other.

If the three-year-old is so impressionable that she begins to ask for the parental bed because of the fears that have arisen, this desire should be satisfied. Let the baby fall asleep with mom and dad, and only then he can be taken to his own bed. Very soon, children should calm down and forget about the fear.

Experienced parents faced with such an uncomfortable situation advise to prevent it. To do this, it is worth closing the door to the parental bedroom with a key in front of intimacy. This kind of foresight will help parents not be afraid of extra eyes.

If the child is 4 - 6 years old

A five-year-old preschooler is a rather curious person who actively absorbs any information, especially “mysterious”, “unusual”, “forbidden”.

Despite the fact that a child at this age does not yet have knowledge of a sexual nature, he or she revolves in a circle of friends who can be much more enlightened in this matter.

As a result, older children are able to explain in their own way the specifics of the relationship between dad and mom, if a small witness tells them about what happened.

If a five-year-old child “caught” his parents at the moment of intimacy, most likely, in the dark, he did not notice anything “extraordinary”. Of course, you don't need to shout, but you shouldn't explain everything about the "stork" in detail either.

Explain to the child that the mother had back pain and the father was massage. This is enough, then you need to switch the child's attention to something else. For example, take him back to the room, read the story and make sure that now he is definitely asleep.

Reasonable parenting behavior, a calm explanation will contribute to the fact that the child will soon forget about what he saw. If the parents shy away from children's questions, shout, the child will mentally return to the situation and want to learn about it from “other sources”.

The next day, you should be extremely careful to find out what the child managed to notice at night. If he snorts in response that he saw you kissing, just calm down - he did not understand anything. That's all, this is the end of the discussion, this situation should not be returned.

As we said, preschoolers are curious. If adults do not satisfy the child's interest, there is a possibility that the child himself will begin to look for answers, including spying on the parents or entering their room, justifying visits for fear of being alone.

If you notice that your child is spying on you, you should not scold or punish him. However, it is necessary to communicate with him on this topic. Say that this behavior is unworthy, unacceptable, and undesirable. Agree with the baby that henceforth you will first knock, and only then go to each other's rooms.

If the child is 7-10 years old

Many decades are already aware of the relationship between representatives of the male and female sexes. But all sexual contacts seem to them to be something dirty, unworthy, therefore the scene of intimate intimacy of parents usually causes negative emotions in children of this age.

It is curious that already as adults, eyewitnesses to the sex scene between parents say that at that moment (and even after many years) they felt anger, resentment, shame, because they considered such behavior to be something indecent, obscene and dirty.

To avoid negative emotions or to minimize their severity, psychologists recommend adhering to the correct behavioral tactics:

1. First of all, you should calm down. You cannot shout at a little eyewitness, because he will get angry, feel resentment. It is best to invite the child to return to his room and wait for a serious conversation.
2. A heart-to-heart conversation is necessary, but its content will be different from a dialogue with a preschooler. You can already talk about sex with a preteen child. Parents briefly explain that there can be an intimate relationship between a man and a woman in love with each other. This is completely normal and natural.
3. For 10-year-olds, you can read books about sexual relationships written especially for children. They clearly and unobtrusively describe where children come from. It is only important to find really useful literature.

Parents should speak in such a way that the child understands that nothing shameful has happened. But at the same time, one should not describe sex life in an overly naturalistic and exciting way, since children aged 7-10 are not yet ready for such revelations.

If the child is 11-15 years old

It is already well known from various sources what constitutes sexual relations. And if he treats strangers who make love calmly, then he makes completely different demands on parents.

Catching mom and dad in an "indecent form" is a big stress for a child. In such a situation, an unwitting eyewitness experiences anger, disgust towards parents. In addition, he himself is ashamed that he saw this "obscene" sight.

All these conflicting feelings, coupled with the unstable emotional state inherent in adolescents, can lead to completely unexpected actions. So, on the forums you can find stories in which people who have already matured tell how they ran away from home, away from their parents.

If the child still managed to notice something that was not intended for his eyes, then it’s time to seriously talk about the sexual side of adult relationships. Such a conversation can even be useful, since today's adolescents start sex early. You just need to correctly place the accents.

Many parents fear that a frank dialogue with a child about the intimate side of life will push him to "debauchery". However, this is another myth. On the contrary, if adults do not discuss the problem after the scene the teenager sees, there is a possibility that the child will begin to perceive sex as something shameful or as something extremely attractive.

Sexuality education is an important part of raising a child, but it is better to do without such extreme situations. To prevent a baby or teenager from being able to tap their parents for a "massage", it is necessary to take precautions in advance.

Experienced parents and psychologists advise you to follow several useful recommendations:

Such precautions will exclude the sudden appearance of the child at the most crucial moment. Of course, preventing such situations should not mean that parents should abandon sexuality education altogether. There will be heart-to-heart conversations, but purposeful and prepared as much as possible.

The question of what to do if the child "caught" the parents in bed really requires a qualified answer. At this moment, all smart ideas usually fly out of my head, only shame and awkwardness remain.

But if you do not discuss the situation with the child, the consequences can be the most unpredictable. The solution to the problem will depend on the age of the little eyewitness. Live life to the fullest and remember to take precautions!