There comes a time when a frank conversation is inevitable. Where to start so as not to frighten the interlocutor? Where is the best place to organize a meeting and how to behave? In this article, we will answer these questions and tell you how we are manipulated through sincere conversations.

What is a frank conversation

Straightforward conversation is pure communication, without trickery, guile or deception. To speak frankly means to exchange sincere feelings, sensations, thoughts.

The most common topics of frank conversation:

• Sex, intimacy... They talk about this fairly truthfully with adolescents in the framework of sex education. Partners, sexologists, bloggers, etc., are frankly discussing the topic.
• Relationships with people... We all have different feelings - irritation, admiration, love, hate, and so on. It is customary to express emotions and feelings in relation to others in conversations “to the point”.
• Diseases... The topic is revealed in the context of psychosomatics, during the examination. It is discussed most often in a circle of loved ones.
• Introspection, remorse... Reminds me of a frank conversation with myself. The topic is relevant during periods of age crises - 18, 25, 30, 40 and 50 years.

Straight talk is a tool for effective communication

Heart-to-heart conversation:

• helps to better understand each other;
• brings family and friends closer;
• resolves conflicts;
• eliminates misunderstandings, feelings of guilt or resentment, pride, and so on.

Straight Talk: Pitfalls

• True stories, personal feelings and other details can play a cruel joke with the one who discovered them. You never fully know what a person really thinks about you and how your relationship will develop further.
• The difficulty of such communication is that, trying to look better, we do not speak from our real self, but from ourselves as we want to be. Then where does sincerity begin?
• Excessive frankness spoils relationships with loved ones. When we talk about the secret, we bind a person with the obligation to keep our secrets. Did he ask us for such an honorable mission? The sense of responsibility for other people's problems does not bring closer, but alienates.
• Each has its own truth. It is advisable not to forget that it is too subjective in order to spread it at every opportunity. Our truth can offend, hurt, distort reality.
• By expressing thoughts too openly, we broadcast a label on ourselves. For example, by openly expressing our conservative views on the life of the country, we become conservatives for others. What if the train of thought turns to liberalism in a couple of minutes? It will be difficult to convince you of the sincerity of your views.

Important rules: how to start a frank conversation, conduct it and end it

Choose a place for communication, determine the time

All participants should be comfortable. And, therefore, it is better to conduct a conversation in a neutral territory - an unpretentious cafe, in a park or other uncrowded place. To concentrate and relax, you need relative silence, a pleasant atmosphere.

You can worry about the decorations that tune in to spiritual communication: delicious tea or coffee, pleasant sounds (birds singing, the sound of the sea wave), a light aroma - flowering plants, incense.

The best time for serious communication, psychologists consider the period from 10:00 to 12:00 in the morning, when the body is invigorated after sleep, but is not tired yet. Having a frank conversation when a person is hungry, sick, irritated, tired or sleepy is highly undesirable.

Choose your words carefully

Starting with the phrase: “We need to talk seriously is one of the biggest mistakes. The replica puts an end to the dialogue that has not yet begun, since the interlocutor subconsciously closes itself. He, sensing danger, wants one thing - to retire. This is what our parents told us when they were going to scold and so the lovers begin their farewell monologue.

Psychologists say that the most important thing for successful communication is a positive attitude, disposition, goodwill. Therefore, it is undesirable to perceive the upcoming conversation as decisive. You need to treat her as an attempt to establish contact. Smile, ease of movement, simplicity of words. For example: "To be honest, then ...", "I wonder how ...", "I'll be honest ...".

Avoid pronouns "you", "you"

Phrases like "You can't hear me!" or “You don’t want to change” is better modeled like this: “I think it’s difficult for you to understand me” / “It’s probably hard for you to change your habits”. Being careful with pronouns, adding words with a tinge of uncertainty is a course for a good negotiation result.

Express a thought clearly

Coming from afar, we risk to tire the interlocutor, to lose the thread of dialogue, to achieve no result. No matter how difficult it is, your point of view must be clearly formulated and expressed. The most important thing is to be sincere now. If the interlocutor notices falsity, he will not open. It is bold enough to tell about your fears, feelings, wishes. A small confession will turn a frank conversation into an active phase.

Listen to the interlocutor

For the dialogue to have a result, you need not only to speak up, but also to listen to the partners. It is advisable neither to interrupt, nor to comment, to give as much time for the utterance as the person himself wants to take.

To sum up

Do not hesitate to ask again, to clarify what the parterre meant. Ambiguity is the main enemy of a clean conversation. If we do not fully understand something, then we begin to think out, fantasize, "wind up".

Straight talk as a way to manipulate

Some people specifically master the art of frank conversation in order to use others for their own purposes. Others do it unconsciously. In order not to fall into a communication trap, you need to know where it is placed.

• Sometimes leaders tell a couple of their secrets to subordinates in order to bring them closer to them for manipulation. The subordinate, feeling like a "special" colleagues, whom the boss himself trusted, agrees to overtime, additional tasks, endless requests.
• Telling the shocking truth is a way to discourage the interlocutor, to make him vulnerable. Feeling awkward, a person ceases to think clearly, unable to think about a decision.
• If the goal is to ferret out important information, the manipulator will not ask questions directly. He will start a frank conversation with a story of something intimate about himself, make him sympathize or admire, and only then he will go on the offensive.
• Before the interview, one of the applicants for the position casually begins to talk about his achievements, victories, and recommendations. What is he doing? Psychologists are sure that he skillfully manipulates, lowering the self-esteem of others before an important meeting. The most vulnerable participants begin to slouch, lose confidence.

How to find out that we have a manipulator

It is worth ending the conversation by asking, "Do I really need to know this?" If the interlocutor argues why he started a frank conversation, you can continue it. But if in response there are reproaches in the style: “I come to you with all my heart, and you spit at her!”, It is time to withdraw.

You can get away from the annoying communicator by referring to the inability to keep secrets or unwillingness to talk about difficult topics.

If it's time to start a frank conversation, use our article as a quick guide to conducting it. Be aware of the dangers and manipulations that other people can use against you.

Some men in every possible way avoid frank conversations with a partner, considering them useless and not leading to anything good, and find many different reasons for this. So, you want emotional communication, and the chosen one shies away? Let's figure out how to bring a man to a conversation.

In this article, you will learn:

• Why is it difficult to bring a man to a frank conversation
• Discussions about what topics men fear
• What you need to do before you bring a man to a conversation
• What words should be avoided when talking to a man
• How to behave a woman when talking to a man

The stronger sex is more proud than women. For fear of showing their weakness to the chosen one, being ridiculed and misunderstood, they try to deal with problems on their own, without sharing their experiences with their partner, thereby building a wall of alienation between themselves and their beloved. To a greater extent, this applies to intimate relationships. Here, a man needs a woman's positive assessment. A lady should not forget that if a lover is afraid to fall in her eyes, having said something wrong, she will not wait for frankness from him.

Perhaps the man avoids having a heart-to-heart conversation because he is afraid of the expected topics. Which ones are undesirable?

• Frank talk about infidelity.

If the spouses cannot be frank with each other, the misunderstanding between them grows, which leads to quarrels, understatement, separation. And the desire to love and be loved has not gone anywhere. Having experienced a lack of warmth and tenderness from the partner, they are looking for a replacement outside the family.
What should you do if this happens? You should think about how to bring a man to talk about relationships, and then, of course, pour out your soul to each other. Cheating will be repeated if the husband and wife do not learn to understand. Do not be afraid to talk about your preferences and desires, including in your intimate life. But at the same time, you must be sure that your partner will listen and not judge, otherwise a truthful conversation will not take place, because it is much easier to invent something and lie.

Tune in to understanding and forgiving such a mistake as adultery, otherwise you will not wait for frankness. It is very difficult to hear that at some point someone else was preferred to you. Talking heart to heart, try to understand the reason for the betrayal, find out how you both want to see family life, relationships. Perhaps it will be possible to restore happiness in marriage.

• Straight talk about sex.

Sexual relationships are an important part of family life, and they must be harmonious. If the partners have different views on the intimate sphere, and desires and needs are not satisfied, it is difficult to build a happy union. Everything will help to correct a heart-to-heart conversation when two loving people speak frankly about their preferences, sexual fantasies. Do not hesitate, express your thoughts openly and remember that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

See what happens when a man and a woman shy away from talking about sexual issues -

Partners discussing sex preferences should speak the truth without hiding anything. If you find it difficult to conduct such a conversation at first, be sure to learn if you want to. The listening side must be delicate. Let your soul mate speak without interrupting. Do not ridicule, condemn or reproach, never use what you hear against someone who dares to be frank.

How to bring a man to a frank conversation

Sometimes it is not possible to bring a man to a frank conversation, but you feel that in the current situation you cannot do without it. Given the peculiarities of the psychology of the chosen one, do not blame him for unwillingness to talk, but try to cheat a little.

Marriage is a constant joint work of a man and a woman, during which, as a rule, they discuss important life moments. Anything that worries one partner should be heard and perceived by the other. Single-sided play is not allowed. If the man is not bothered by your problems, question the seriousness of his intentions.

Basic rules of a frank conversation

Openness helps partners sort out the relationship. But the result of heart-to-heart conversations is not always positive, and the spouses move further from each other. It all depends on the situation in which they find themselves, how developed the ability to conduct a truthful conversation, on the degree of tactfulness in the formulation of desires.



Some men and women find it difficult to force themselves to speak frankly. Even realizing that unsolved problems have accumulated, as they say, above the roof, and they cannot be silently resolved. This happens if in childhood a person was haunted by some fears, as well as in the absence of trust in a partner and self-confidence.

There are others who, in the course of a conversation, throw out everything that is needed and not on the chosen one. Usually, this is the behavior of people trying to free themselves from responsibility for committed impartial acts. But excessive sincerity shows only weaknesses, in no way contributing to the improvement of the relationship between a man and a woman.

• Don't remember past grudges.

Very often women in the process of dialogue behave incorrectly. The relationship of the spouses is already tense, and they begin to remember how and when their partner offended them, where they miscalculated. The man immediately withdraws into himself, since there is enough negativity in real life, and he does not want to feel guilty for what happened before.

And if, moreover, he realizes that you are inclined to share family problems and will reproach with the revelations heard in the future, you will not wait for the truth from your partner. Understand that you need to build real relationships, and not look back at the past, and if you remember something, then in a calm atmosphere.

After all, the negativity that you went through together did not divide your union. This means that you will understand the current situation. Perhaps an analysis of the years lived with a partner will help. Calmly remember (you can write down) the painful and the role that each of you played then. Decide how you would behave in the place of a partner, try to see not only the guilt of the chosen one in the deterioration of relations, but also your mistakes. And don't come back to this anymore. What happened is gone.

Forgive your beloved, and do it with all your heart, sincerely. If you are not tormented by resentment, life and love will sparkle with bright colors. Believe me, over time, the bad is forgotten and loses its significance.

Some ladies, wishing that the feeling of stability and security never left them, live in pink glasses, without delving into family problems and what is happening in the soul of a partner. Even suspecting something, they can ask the chosen one an interesting question, but they immediately determine that they do not want to hear what can upset them, disappoint. Men feel it and, of course, do not tell the truth. Why throw a friend out of balance and cause yourself possible inconvenience? So they live from year to year, not knowing about the experiences of their half and silently about their own. Only sometimes comes surprise at the closeness of the partner and the inability to bring the man to a sincere conversation.




One should not form a standard of a man and his manner of behavior, as women often do. Try to accept the present, which is near, with its habits and weaknesses. Do not hint to your partner that you are getting away from understanding some of the components of his life, because they are unpleasant to you. Perhaps, if you behave this way, the family hearth will burn with a brighter flame.

• Be honest with yourself.

Are you deceiving yourself, are you sincere with your partner? Only with a positive answer will there be a chance to bring the man to an open conversation.

Having understood yourself and forgiving for the mistakes you have made, gradually call your partner for frankness. Of course, people are not inclined to change the behavior they have formed in the course of life. For example, if a young girl is often humiliated, she will do the same with men as an adult. It is very difficult, but it is necessary to break oneself and not carry the burden of negativity into a new relationship. The chosen one is not responsible for what you experienced earlier. Treat him with respect, build your happiness through sincerity and mutual understanding.

Do not skimp on feelings, give your partner attention, support, kindness and love. They usually return a hundredfold. But it happens that in response from the chosen one you will not expect anything good, and this behavior becomes a reason for conflicts. Believe me, this is not the end of the world. First, a man can change for the better. And if this does not happen, look around - suddenly fate has prepared a gift for you in the form of a new relationship, and the person who is next to you is just a stranger.

Do you want a decent man? Then remember this phrase: "I like you, you are interesting to me."

There is a myth that it is not necessary to admit to a man of sympathy, he himself must take the first step, in no case take the first step. When someone chooses you, then you will choose him. And the first one does not have to choose anyone. And I like it because a lot of girls think so. It is very scary for them to take the first step. But to provide for a man when he lives at her expense, when he is a gigolo, when he is lying on the couch, cannot provide for children - this is normal. But the first step is no, what are you? Therefore, if you want a normal man, you should be able to pronounce this phrase, or at least write it on social networks: “Hello, I liked you”, “Hello, I liked you as a man”, “Hello, I am interested in you as a man”. This is the first phrase, write it down for yourself, and, of course, try it. Right now, you can apply it somewhere in social networks, in SMS, in the messenger, in Viber.

• End the conversation in a positive way.

If you managed to bring a man to a sincere conversation, make it clear that the relationship is dear to you, dream of a happy continuation, and you will go to great lengths to resolve any conflicts.

The main thing in a conversation is a correct, positive attitude.

Remember: by talking frankly, answer the questions that tormented you, strengthen your relationship with your partner and begin to develop them without repeating the mistakes you have made.

In any case, it is necessary to pour out the soul to each other. And it is not necessary to perceive the conversation as a problem, let it become one of the ways out of the crisis that has matured in the relationship.

It is good if frank conversations become commonplace. Any situation can be taken under control by sitting down at the peace negotiating table. If this becomes a tradition in the family, not a single serious storm will become a reason for parting.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped over 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

Most of all, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Any man is afraid to make an impartial impression.

In fact, men have much more self-esteem than women and it is easier for them to survive their problems alone than to endanger their face in front of a woman. The fear of being ridiculed and misunderstood makes a man keep silent about his feelings, thereby moving away from the woman. This is very important for the intimate sphere of relationships - it is very important for a man to get approval as a result of his efforts. It is important to remember that if for some reason a partner decides for himself that an inaccurate word can make a woman look at him differently, then you should not expect frankness from him. In fact, women would not be so critical, perhaps now these lines would not have been written to help them.

So what can you do about it? First, dear ladies, you need to learn to listen to your man. Yes Yes! It is to listen, and not comment and insert where you need and where you do not need your point of view. No need to build castles in the air and invent a prince. A man is very afraid of not meeting the expectations of a woman, and this is the whole trick. You need to want to get to know each other better, get to know your partner better. As soon as a woman begins to perceive a man as a living person, and not a far-fetched image, he will quickly feel it and then one can already count on frankness. This is a very fragile matter and you need to apply a lot of patience in order not to miss the moment and justify the trust placed in you. A man needs to be allowed to express himself from all sides and not be afraid to disappoint you, he needs it like air.

Frankness for candor

It is useful for a woman to open up to her partner as much as possible. Loving people should be extremely frank. Men are very afraid that if he opens up and a woman hears something that she would not want to hear, the relationship may collapse. The woman's task here is to convince her partner that this is not so.

When you finally manage to call your partner to frankness, you need to apply all the female wisdom so as not to frighten him off. Even in the most unpleasant story in your opinion, you need to find something positive. No need to interrupt the man, it is better to listen to the end and leave him a positive assessment at the end. Just do not try to lie, if it sounds fake, then there will be no more such conversations, be sure.

A common mistake a woman makes is that she takes the position of a stranger. It's like a confrontation - "red" against "blue". This position is fraught with the fact that a woman is trying to get a man to talk only in order to show him how and where he was wrong, where he was stupid and how she herself would act in his place. Such a negative position, as you understand, cannot serve as a reliable springboard for trusting relationships. Who wants to hear about what a fool he is, a loser, etc.

You need to put yourself in the shoes of a man, look at the situation through his eyes. Having established a dialogue, you will be able to become a friend to your partner. Not only a woman needs a "shoulder", it is also very important for a man to know that he is understood and that he will be accepted, despite the various troubles in life. Your frankness will help him to open up. Strong and trusting relationships are the backbone of a happy family. You yourself will feel how much closer you will become to each other, when all the walls collapse between you and you finally realize that you live on the same planet and are not very different from each other.

It's scary even to imagine what terrible stereotypes a man is guided by when building his behavior. Even as children, they understand that boys do not cry, do not complain. As a result, an adult man will accumulate all soreness and experience alone. He cannot receive feedback, some kind of moral support in a male society, because this is not accepted. Having made a step towards him, allowing him to open up, you yourself will acquire in the person of your beloved man a loyal friend and become even more important for him.

Do not remember past grudges

In almost every relationship, women make the same mistake. With disagreements occurring at the present time, they begin to remember and, of course, express all the partner's miscalculations, resentments right from the moment they met. It is not surprising that a man closes himself, not wanting to remember again and again all the negative attitude and even more so to be guilty of all this. How can we fix this error?

A man will never speak frankly with you if he suddenly feels that later his own words will be used against him or passed on to third parties. Understand that what happened in the past was in the past. If you really want to remember, then you don't need to do it on emotions during the quarrel. Try to look at the past from the other side - with an open mind. If it is difficult for you to do this, then write down everything that hurts in your notebook and evaluate the role of your partner in the relationship, and your role. There is no need to measure up to those who have contributed the most to the relationship. Just calmly analyze and think about how you yourself would act in his place. Of course, you were not always right either, think about it carefully. In the end, you have already experienced this and have chosen to stay together, so why now raise everything?

As a result of such an error, templates are glued to a person, which is very difficult to get rid of later. Who would want to atone for the sins of the past for years? Many women deliberately build such a model of relationships with the aim of instilling a constant feeling of guilt in their partner, in order to prove to themselves and to everyone around that she is a victim and in general it is not clear why she will not break up with such a "monster". Thus, the ladies assert themselves.

Forgiving is easy and pleasant, provided the forgiveness is sincere. Letting go of past grievances, it will become easier and more pleasant for you to live and love. After all, if you face the truth, then any quarrel after a while does not seem so significant and fatal as it once was, and the insults received are remembered just out of habit.

Learning to listen

Women themselves are often unwilling or unwilling to hear and find out the truth. Waiting from a man for the answers they need, ladies feel stable and protected. Moreover, the woman herself does not want to take off her rose-colored glasses, and any deviation from the norm causes her a feeling of emptiness and disappointment. Then the woman is also sincerely surprised why this partner closes in himself, why he does not share with her. What kind of trusting relationship in this case can we talk about? A man perfectly feels what they want from him and it is natural that it is easier for him to justify the expectation and not wake up the sleeping volcano. Not everyone is sincere and often a couple can live for years without delving into the inner world and experiences of each other.

Women live by stereotypes. They have their own "only correct" idea of \u200b\u200bwhat a man should be like, how he should think and what he should say. Sometimes a woman herself gives her partner a signal about what she does not want to hear, thereby placing a taboo on a certain part of her partner's life. The willingness to give up this habit and accept a man for who he really is, and not an image invented in his head, will serve as an excellent start to a strong, mature relationship.

It is important to decide for yourself if you can accept what you hear. How much truth can you bear. Even if something from what you heard shocks you, try not to emphasize it. Over time, when the first impression subsides, understanding will come, at least partially. This will be a huge, giant step towards building relationships. Living with an invented partner, building not real relationships with him - all this happiness received is just as illusory. Do you want to live in a non-real world?

Each step forward, showing tolerance, acceptance - makes you stronger and more confident. Why should a partner pretend to be who they are not? Pretending constantly, trying to stick to the imposed image is not easy. At some time, a man may just break loose.

Be honest with yourself

In order to call a partner to frankness, you yourself need to be sincere and benevolent. This will not work if you are not reconciled with yourself and deceive yourself.

The tips listed above should first be used in relation to yourself. When you understand yourself, I'm sorry, you can start building a sincere relationship with your partner. We often use familiar behaviors and don't like to change. For example, if in her youth a woman was often put in an awkward position by close people, then most likely this is how she will behave later in relations with men. It is not easy to get out of the vicious circle, but if you try to shake off the "baggage" you have passed and respect your man, then there is a chance to change everything. Do not transfer negative experience to a new relationship, in the end, the man is not to blame for the fact that sometime in the past something did not work out for you or did not work out. Stop living on "autopilot".

It happens that giving something to your partner - attention, support, respect, or simply giving in to him, you expect an equivalent return. If this does not happen, then grievances, quarrels, demands begin. One should not regard such a situation as the end of all that exists. Maybe this is the beginning of something new and fate tells you that this is not your person? Do good, give love and respect and it will definitely come back to you.

Today, many married couples think about the question: how to protect the family from a split in relations? How not to waste love and tender feelings over the years? How to keep understanding? To give answers to these questions, it is worth considering, but what helps to save all this? One of the methods of building a happy family life, no matter how trite it sounds, has always been and is frank conversations.

Straight Talk with Husband

It is good when the spouses are in many ways similar to each other: they have the same culinary preferences, a similar attitude to life, the same desires and dreams. But such an idyll is rare. And most couples have to find out, question, adapt, compromise. After all, this is how a happy family life is built. On mutual concessions, on agreements, understanding the other person, accepting him as he is. And here you cannot do without a frank conversation with your husband or wife.

After all, how often do we see tension in relationships among the families of our acquaintances, friends or relatives, we feel that a wall has been erected between the spouses. It is difficult for them to find common ground. Although they have been living together for a long time, and should have gotten to know each other well over this long period. But they are more like people they just met, who know nothing about each other. Why is that?

The spouses have not learned to speak frankly, to express what is in their souls. A frank conversation with a husband or wife is a bridge between two accomplished personalities who decided to sail in the same boat along the river of life. Straight talk brings spouses closer. Couples who have learned to talk about their desires, tastes and preferences from the beginning of their relationship have a stronger family. They know what their loved one likes and what doesn't. Where would the spouse want to go for a weekend getaway, and where he feels like he’s not at ease.

Being honest can also help you talk about negative feelings or experiences. After all, we are so often afraid, do not know how or do not know how to tell a loved one that we do not like. And is it important! It is important to talk about both good and bad.

Knowing what annoys a husband or wife, what makes them angry, and what offends - we are guided by this knowledge and try to do as our spouse likes. Such a strategy helps to build a family hearth where love, understanding, respect and tenderness reign. And you can't do without frank conversations.

Spouses who do not know how to speak honestly and openly about themselves are digging a chasm among themselves of constant resentment, misunderstanding, disappointment, sometimes even hatred. How can such a couple be happy? But everyone wants to come home to a loving and beloved person.

Straight talk about cheating

Very often, without learning to speak frankly, spouses do not get what they expected from family life. Constant quarrels and omissions on the basis of misunderstanding alienate husband and wife. But they still want affection, tenderness and love. Not receiving this in the family, they seek to satisfy their needs on the side.

What to do for those couples who stumbled and cheated? The answer is simple: learn to speak frankly and talk about your mistake. You should know that a lack of understanding in the family provokes cheating. But this is fixable! By learning to talk about your preferences and desires, you will be able to talk about your sexual fantasies, knowing that you will be listened to. After all, when we are afraid of condemnation, we often time or hide the truth.

A frank conversation about infidelity is possible when a spouse, knowing about the mistake of a loved one, will try to understand and forgive him. Yes, it hurts! But having understood the reason for such an act of a husband or wife, having learned the motives of why he or she did this, as well as how a spouse or spouse sees life in marriage, what he and she want their relationship in the family to be - you can rebuild the family anew.

Straight talk about cheating can be the starting point for your dream family.

Straight Talk About Sex

From the words written earlier, you learned that talking about sex is inevitable if you want to have a harmonious marriage. It is important to be able to talk openly about your sexual fantasies. There is no shame in this. Sex is an integral part of the life of a man and a woman together. And disagreements, unmet sexual needs, desires only destroy the harmony in marriage.

Everyone can master a frank conversation about sex, desires, what they like and what not. The only condition for the speaker is to be sincere. The only request to the listener is not to interrupt, to try to understand, not to condemn, not to reproach, not to ridicule, not to use what the husband or wife has said against them. This way the speaker can be as sincere as possible.

How to lead to a frank conversation?

First, you can always ask directly. If a spouse does not want to answer a direct question with the same unambiguous, direct answer, you can resort to some tricks.

So, how to bring a husband or wife to a frank conversation if he or she does not want to answer directly? First, choose a suitable environment: it should be calm, in a quiet place, secluded. Nobody should distract you. Tell us your secrets or share your wishes. It all depends on what you want to talk frankly about. Starting a conversation first, you show the interlocutor that you yourself are ready to talk about intimate, thereby stimulating him to reveal his thoughts.

But men are more secretive than women. And it can be much more difficult to bring the stronger sex to a frank conversation. Be guided by your husband's mood, especially a positive one. When a person is in high spirits, it is easier to lead him to a frank conversation. So, you already know what role frank conversations play in the family. As you understood - the most important.

- How to start a serious conversation with a man - about relationships, about household matters, and in general about any problems in family life - and not quarrel?
- What TYPICAL MISTAKES do WOMEN make (yes, they are! I know from myself :)), and not at the beginning or during the conversation - but not even at the stage when they just THINK about how to approach it?

Surprisingly, most women are convinced that men run away from talking about something serious and important because of some immature motivation, for example, because they are lazy, or do not want to bring up a painful topic, or because they do not want to take responsibility. In short, women want to solve problems and maintain relationships, while men behave like children.

But this - believe me, I myself have thought for many years as well! - just a big female illusion.

In fact, as an experienced interviewer and consultant, I responsibly declare:

1. Men are not talkative, but talkative enough, and easily make contact, enter into dialogue,
2. They LIKE to talk on various philosophical, ideological and other serious topics,
3. And with due delicacy on the part of women, they talk about their personal and family problems, including in relationships.

The key phrase here is "with due delicacy of a woman." Nothing more. So to start a serious conversation with a man, discuss problems and come to a common solution for mutual pleasure - not only is it possible, but also SIMPLY! Trust an expert and a woman with 20 years of family experience :)).

How can this be achieved? Let's figure it out.

Did you know that it is WOMEN who make a conversation DIFFICULT and SERIOUS?

And that for men, in essence, it is NOT DIFFICULT to discuss any difficulty, both in everyday life and in relationships - because their psyche is sharpened to find solutions and eliminate stress? In a sense, we can say that they have this option "pre-installed", working in automatic mode. EVERYONE HAS!!! This is the BASIC equipment, so to speak.

Whatever you think of your man, she works EXCELLENT for him too. It's just that you have never used this talent of his, that's all.

Men avoid not those "serious conversations", as we, women see it, but our WOMEN'S EMOTIONS. The unrestrained. Accumulated over the years of unfulfilled expectations. And other emotional ... hmm ... "chaos" (at least from their point of view).
And - ERRORS in the technique of such negotiations :)).

If we look at how we conduct such conversations with a man from the outside, it is very possible that we ourselves will see our mistakes and change the strategy of communication "about important".
By the way, try to record at least one of your serious conversation on a dictaphone (the man will agree! Just say that you want to listen to YOURSELF from the outside, understand what YOU are doing wrong).

So, let's watch the video (see the video content below):

0:13 How NOT to start a serious conversation with a man (and no one in general)

Secret # 1 - DO NOT use these 2 STOP phrases that reflexively cause tension in the interlocutor: “We need to talk” and “I'll explain everything to you now”. And especially - do not prepare a man in advance for the fact that you want to talk to him with stop phrase # 1 - if you do not want to spoil everything at once.

0:57 Errors at the start, or How a woman can "ruin everything" LONG BEFORE the start of an important conversation

A typical scenario of how a woman PREPARES for a conversation with a man - and the main, BIGGEST mistakes she makes even BEFORE she says the first words.

4:47 You just took your breath to start your serious conversation - and he was already ready to defend himself. Why?

You have just approached the man, you have just said two words - so why does he ALREADY take everything with hostility?

5:39 "Schizophrenia of our time: dreaming of a REAL man who" will do as I said ":)))

6:20 What's your GOAL? For what purpose do you most often start "serious and important conversations" with him - on such rails your family life will roll ... unnoticed by you. Who do you want to live with: with a real man, like behind a stone wall - or ... quite the opposite? You make this choice every time you choose the PURPOSE with which you approach your husband, starting a conversation or asking him about something.

6:48 How do you get away from the “typical scenario” and all the mistakes of preparing for a conversation with a man about problems?

How to prepare and start a serious conversation is EFFECTIVE for you BOTH.

8:10 is your talisman in important conversations about problems and relationships (in my experience).

12:06 FOUR wonderful BONUSES for a new approach to talking with a man

... that a woman gets in her relationship with a man. How just a change in a woman's approach to talking about important things changes her perception of her man, her attitude towards him - and, accordingly, his attitude towards her.

18:07 Where to start a conversation? TWO phrases that set a man up positively

Motivating him to talk right now and find a solution to the problem. And - why they work so magically.

21.42 SUMMARY on how to cook and start a serious conversation with a man.

22:28 Secret # 3 - one conversation, one problem.

What does it mean, how to do it in practice, and why otherwise the whole conversation could collapse.

So listen, and waiting for your LIKES and QUESTIONS-OPINIONS in the comments !!!

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