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Why greedy men come across. Greedy man psychology |
Let's not be cunning: we all love generous men. But this seems to be a rare phenomenon: according to statistics, 56% of them are used to saving, and 12% are real greedy. What category does your partner belong to? Psychologists believe that it is possible to find out this from the very first meetings. Here's how to do it. A generous suitor is every woman's dream Why do we like generous boyfriends? Do not blame the female commercialism for everything, the reasons for this, psychologists say, have little to do with the financial solvency of a man. A number of studies and surveys have shown that in the understanding of women, generosity and the amount that a partner has at their disposal are completely different things. So, for example, a partner with a low income, but ready to give everything just to please his beloved woman, ladies, as a rule, rate higher than a wealthy "miser" who will spare his wife money even for a chocolate bar. Why? “For a woman, all these gifts, surprises, even if inexpensive, are proof of feelings. And if he loves, then I am good, beautiful, she thinks. This gives her confidence in herself, in the future, in her partner, and in general makes her happier ", - explains psychologist Margarita Sultanova. But let's be realistic: much more often we meet those who are not inclined to part with money easily. For what reason is an important question, psychologists say. Out of savings? This is not so bad: you can try to re-educate a thrifty partner, such one will make all purchases in a balanced manner, with him there is a chance to save up for a fur coat, and for a joint vacation by the sea, and for a new car, etc. With a pathological greedy person it is more difficult: it is impossible to convince him to spend at least a little… on you. It is clear that if you have been living with your lover in the same apartment for a long time, you will probably realize which of these categories he belongs to. In the early stages of the novel, this is a little more difficult to find out, but extremely important (unless you sincerely and with all your heart love the curmudgeon as a species). To determine who is in front of you - a thrifty or greedy man - psychologists recommend paying attention to how he behaves in different situations: 1. At the first or second meeting Some impressionable ladies are used to thinking that if a new boyfriend comes to a date without flowers, then he is greedy. And in vain! Perhaps he is not gallant, not romantic, or simply forgot to buy a bouquet. “But if he came with one carnation, this is already a reason to be wary. Your man has clearly not forgotten about decency, but decided to save money. And make an impression, but "cheap" - says psychologist Margarita Sultanova. Pay attention to how much he spends on himself. “If for every date he comes on the subway and wears the same shoes, but at the same time buys you some inexpensive goodies or cute souvenirs, this is a generous guy who looks after opportunities. But if you get the same signs of attention from a boyfriend in a good car and in an expensive watch, then, most likely, you have a rather stingy person in front of you ", - explains Margarita. From a greedy man, you will not get even the smallest presentation "just like that". Exclusively for special occasions: birthday, March 8th, New Year. But, you know, first you have to put up with cheap gifts, and then - with their complete absence. 2. In a cafe or restaurant In which? Let him choose. A practical man will most likely prefer a delicious home-style dinner to a restaurant. And if he takes you to a cafe, he will opt for a mid-level establishment: cozy and inexpensive. A thrifty man is likely to convince you of how pointless it is to pay exorbitant prices for a bottle of wine. A greedy person will probably talk a lot too: look for reasons to give up going to an institution. Did you agree? Do not rush to rejoice, but watch what he orders. “Looking on the menu for what is cheaper? And then carefully checks the check? Economical. Leaves no tip - greedy. Offers split account? Here you can probably make a diagnosis - an incorrigible curmudgeon! " - continues our expert. Don't assume that greedy people don't like expensive food or wine. Love, how! But only “behind closed doors”, while no one sees, so that we don't have to share. It is very reluctant to spend money on someone if they are. Greedy people do not like to spend money and require accountability for everything, even the smallest expenses 3. At the cinema As you know, in many cinemas the price for daytime screenings is much lower than evening ones. An economical man will behave in this case like this: he will offer to go tomorrow and watch a film in the afternoon. Why overpay? - he will judge. A stingy boyfriend, most likely, will prefer walking around the city instead of going to the cinema. Get ready to hear a lot of words about what a wonderful environment and weather around, how much he wants to "just talk" with you in order to get to know each other better. Don't believe it! In fact, he just doesn't want to spend money on you. Not scary? Okay, but then you'd better figure it out right away: are you ready to forget about joint trips to cultural events. With a greedy they will not be. Absolutely. 4. In the store The economical one will choose carefully: both the store and the purchases. But not because he wants to find cheaper - it is important for him that the price matches the quality. Greedy, on the contrary, do not mind spending money, but only on themselves. Therefore, you should be prepared for the fact that your purchases will not please him. “The greedy man will most likely find a thousand explanations that you don't need these things. And if he nevertheless reaches the checkout, then, obviously, he will pay only for himself. And then he will ask with an imperturbable look: "Zay, are you soon?" - Margarita Sultanova predicts. Therefore, the future with a greedy man seems rather bleak: you will have to account for the cost of every purchase, for every ruble spent. If you suddenly buy an expensive, even worse, unsuccessful thing - the greedy person will "nag" you for a long time. However, even a greedy person can get along. True, on one condition - if he loves you as much as himself. “What matters is not what gifts he gives you, but how he treats you. The main thing is that he does not skimp on courtship and emotions. It is more valuable than any flowers and presents ", - says Margarita. Greedy men are not uncommon in the modern world. Sometimes the realization that the chosen one is "stingy" comes to women late. How to recognize a "miser" in a man before starting a serious relationship? What is the difference between greed and saving? The information below helps to understand these issues. The basis of behavior is laid in childhood. A man copies his father, grandfather, older brother, uncle, fully or partially adopting their negative and positive qualities. Also, a little boy remembers the attitude of his father to his mother, and in the future he will use the same model of behavior. If the father deprived the mother of something, then the future man will do the same, since such behavior for him is the norm, instilled in childhood. Stinginess and greed, manifested at an older age, are due to the following reasons:
How greed is different from savingSome women do not share these two completely different concepts. It is believed that if a man saves on his beloved, then such a man is a "miser". The stereotype that has developed over many years is almost impossible to break. But it is worth knowing that there is a fine line between economy and greed, only breaking which, a man becomes stingy. What is the human irresistible desire to possess money, things, feelings of other people in an amount that significantly exceeds the norm? Saving means giving up something in favor of saving resources. That is, a thrifty person does not squander, but does not waste his savings either. Greedy men differ from thrifty men in that they try not to save themselves from costs, but, on the contrary, spend finances on themselves and their own desires, bypassing the desires of people close to them. An economical man will not disregard his beloved, even if he is experiencing some financial difficulties. Therefore, you should not confuse greed and economy, and you should not blame the young man for being stingy if, instead of a huge armful of roses, he presented you with a modest bouquet of wildflowers. It is worth knowing that a thrifty man is an excellent candidate for husbands. Your family will not need it with him, as he knows how to correctly plan expenses. A greedy young man can never be a good husband. He will save not only on his beloved woman, but also on children. First dateThe first meeting with a man, as many women believe, should be memorable. Flowers, a restaurant or a cafe, beautiful gestures, compliments - all this should be present. According to the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, a man must make an impression, otherwise he simply will not be able to "hook" his chosen one. On the first date, it is quite difficult to recognize a greedy person, since the lack of flowers or money is far from an indicator of stinginess, but just a coincidence. Perhaps the man simply did not have time to buy flowers, or he forgot. However, greed can still be recognized by noting several nuances in the behavior of the chosen one. Behavioral features of "cheapskates" on the first dateGreedy men will never allow themselves to offer a lady an extra cup of coffee. And after a hint of her, they will grimace with a barely noticeable displeased grimace. However, with the exception of a grimace, inattentive or ill-mannered persons can lead themselves. In addition, a greedy man will not forget to casually or covertly mention that he has no big money. Almost any conversation will be translated into a financial topic. But there are nuances here: a self-respecting man will not discuss the lack of finances, even if he is a "stingy". The phrase "no money" will sound much later, when the relationship moves to a new level. As practice shows, stingy representatives of the strong half of humanity, when they first meet with a lady in a cafe or restaurant, while paying the bill, never leave a tip to the waiter. Another important point to pay attention to is how he looks at you during the checkout process in a cafe. A frightened or heavy gaze suggests that your chosen one is a potential "mean". What to do if you realize that your husband is a greedy personIt happens that after several years of marriage, a man turns out to be greedy. What to do in this case? The main thing is not to put pressure on him and make sure that this is really a manifestation of greed, and not economy. Greed for money does not always manifest itself immediately, and sometimes a woman connects her life with a man, not paying attention to his shortcomings. His pettiness and desire to control the expenses of the chosen one go unnoticed exactly until the moment when she is dependent on him. That is, as soon as for some reason a woman is left without work, her spouse's greed becomes more noticeable. In this case, the best help is the negotiation table. Try to call him for a constructive dialogue or use the tips below. Joint purchasesShopping together is a great way to show your husband the real value of the goods. Some men, not knowing the price of a particular product, begin to slander their wives, accusing them of wastefulness. This causes a storm of negativity in women, and they, obeying an emotional impulse, call their husbands greedy. What to talk about with a man at this time? Communicate with him on topics that are removed from finance, the main thing is that the information is positive. Payment of billsCalculate your family budget together. Do not take all responsibility upon yourself, but do not shift all payments to him. A man should see you as a support, a reliable friend who will support him in any matter. If the spouse refers to joint expenses without proper understanding, then in this case you can once entrust him with paying for the kindergarten, housing and communal services, Internet services and other things. However, this must be done without any reproach, without provoking a scandal. What to talk about with a man in this situation? For example, tell him that you do not have time to visit the bank to pay bills, and a penalty will be charged on the outstanding debt. Emphasize that only he can help you here. Joint restPerhaps your beloved man is simply tired of exhausting work, and he needs rest. Spend time with him, away from children and family problems. This will strengthen the relationship and help you get through the crisis. Praise is the best panacea for greedPraise your man as often as possible, and feel free to compliment him. He needs to feel love, he needs care. A man needs understanding and a warm attitude no less than a woman. To overcome the first manifestations of greed, it should be treated with a certain superiority. Don't be afraid to slightly exaggerate its merits and play down its flaws. The wife is an example for the husbandBe an example for your loved one, give him gifts, just like that, for no reason. Small pleasant surprises will not leave him indifferent. Want to make your man generous? Become generous to him. Do not skimp on emotions, rejoice like a child, learn to understand his sense of humor. Remember that greed can be not only material but also emotional. Change yourselfIf you really have such a trait as extravagance in your character, then try to get rid of it. Avoid unnecessary waste from the family budget, do not buy unnecessary things that you can do without. Do you love your man? Then get ready for the fact that you will have to adjust to it. Changes in behavior and character will not only help to change the attitude towards you, it will also cause your partner to want to change. Never compareDo not mention other men when communicating with your husband, do not set them up as an example - this will only aggravate the situation. Do not tell him that he is somehow worse than others. Your man should be unique, the best and the best for you. What not to doPsychologists do not advise directly expressing to a man that you suspect him of greed. It is necessary to bring him to the discussion of the problem as gently as possible, otherwise a scandal may break out. In dealing with a man, at the first sign of greed, you cannot:
In addition, it is important to understand what caused the greed. Why did the husband become greedy?This question is asked by women who first encountered an unpleasant trait of their beloved spouse. The appearance of signs of greed is caused not only by previously hidden stinginess, upbringing, but also by the defiant behavior of the spouse, as well as other factors. Such as:
Sometimes women themselves provoke such an attitude of their beloved towards themselves. Requirements to buy expensive gifts, wastefulness destroy harmonious relationships. In what situations is specialist intervention requiredIt is necessary to seek help from a family psychologist if such behavior was not previously noted for the husband. Saving not only on the wife, but also on the children, and also on oneself is considered a critical manifestation of greed. It is worth knowing that pathological greed is equated with mental illness, and timely assistance to a loved one is a necessity. After you once met a young man and realized that he is incredibly greedy, the choice is yours: to be with him and accept him as he is, or to refuse to communicate with him. In any case, you need to listen to your own intuition and feelings - they will tell you whether you made the right choice. Since childhood, girls have been dreaming marry a princewho would be smart, handsome, rich and kind. When a girl grows up and begins to think about marriage, she already believes that her chosen one should first of all love her, not change, not drink and be able to make money. But to think about the fact that when choosing a spouse it would be nice to pay attention to such character traits as greed and stinginess, few of the girls think. Surely meet a man like a miser Plyushkin, in our time unrealistic, modern men show greed in a completely different way, and therefore it can be difficult to recognize it at the beginning of a relationship. After all, the fact that a man came to the first date without a bouquet of flowers may be the reason for his forgetfulness or excessive employment. There are no flowers, and okay. The main thing came without delay, which means that he is exemplary and caring. It does not push the guy to think about the possible greediness of the guy and the fact that he prefers to walk the girl home, and does not offer her to take a bus or subway. Receive gifts, waitwhen he takes a girl to the cinema or to have dinner in a cafe from a greedy guy. There are such specimens of the strong half of humanity who, after lunch in a cafe or shopping in a store for a common table, hint that the girl will pay for everything herself. Of course, in every person's life there are different circumstances, from a forgotten wallet to financial difficulties, for example, if a man lives only on a scholarship. But if you are sure that a man earns well and lives in prosperity, but you have to buy a ticket to a cinema or theater, pay in a cafe or a restaurant, for a taxi or a ride on the subway, then this is a serious reason to think about whether you need one. the man. If at the very beginning relations if you have even the slightest doubt that a guy is not very easy to part with something for you, then do not start a more serious relationship with him until you are sure that you are not mistaken about his relationship with you. It is very difficult to be close to a person who during his life does not give you flowers, does not understand hints when you tell him that you liked a dress or a new ring from a friend. It is even worse if a man marries, expecting in advance that after the wedding he will live in luxury and wealth, thanks to the means of a wealthy girl who will become his wife. In this case, all his life he will consider how effectively he got married, and if his expected hopes do not come true, then the life of the spouses together turns into a nightmare. Male greed - this is a serious psychological problem, which suggests that the natural process inherent in a strong half of humanity by nature is disturbed in a man - to give to a woman. A greedy man loves in his own way, but it is impossible to feel his love. How can you understand the love of a man if he does not give you gifts, flowers, does not invite you to go to rest somewhere. But it is impossible to confuse male greed with thrift; thrift is that character trait that helps a man to rationally distribute money. In family life with a thrifty man, you will be like a stone wall, he has enough for all the family's expenses and for nice gifts to you. But if a man to buy a gift for his wife is looking for places where there are sales and chooses discounted things, then this is no longer thrift, but greed. What are the reasons manifestations male greed? In most cases, greed is a character trait that was instilled in him from a young age by his parents. From childhood, the boy sees how his father behaves towards his mother, how he gets upset because of an insignificant loss of money or unnecessary waste. Such examples from the life of thrifty parents who were strapped for money lead to the formation of a wrong attitude to money in the child. The boy inherits the attitudes of his parents, and as an adult he embodies them in his own, even if well-provided, life. Balzac wrote: "Avarice begins where poverty ends." Many men get greedy when they get rich. That is why, more often than not, greedy men are found in wealthy families, where spouses constantly quarrel over excessive control of expenses by the husband. Sometimes male greed can only be manifestation caution. For example, if a man has just met a girl and thinks: "Why spend money, you need to get to know her better first." Such an act, of course, does not adorn a man, but in this case there is at least hope that in family life he will be more generous. Some men don't give gifts to their wives due to wrong attitude to them women themselves. Seeing how the husband lavishly spends money from the family budget on flowers and gifts, the wife asks him to be more economical. Timid prohibitions of women not to give them huge bouquets of flowers, not to buy expensive jewelry, perfumes and other things, teach men that they stop giving gifts to their wives, believing that it is better for them to give money, and then let them buy what they want ... To accuse such men of greed is extremely unfair. - Return to the section table of contents " " Often in conversations, women complain that they got a greedy man. The situation is common. To understand its causes, it is worth studying the problem of the formation, manifestation and influence of stinginess on relationships, family life and the character of a woman. How to tell the greedy from the frugalGreed is an immoderate desire for possession or consumption. The basis for the manifestation of this feeling is competition. Competition creates greed in the individual on a conscious or subconscious level. Personal manifestations such as greed and stinginess are closely related to greed. Stinginess - excessive frugality, the desire to avoid expenses. Greed is a mental and active inclination to acquire material goods and benefits. It is important not to confuse greed with frugality, economy, and practicality. Lean is understood as a positive trait, which implies a moderate consumption of any resources. Practicality is the ability to make good decisions. Profitability - making profitable decisions, avoiding unreasonable costs and losses. All these characteristics, in contrast to greed, are evaluated positively. Their presence in a man's character is an advantage, not a disadvantage. The greedy man in psychology can be characterized as follows. This is a person who is characterized by an irrepressible desire to own and consume all kinds of goods and values \u200b\u200bof a material and non-material nature. The feeling of greed is based on two factors:
One of the reasons for greed is the fear of losing. How stinginess beginsThe nature of greed lies in the desire of a man to realize his biological and social instincts. Dominance, the possibility of procreation, a comfortable and safe life are based in society on status and wealth.
Male greed is also formed from the fear of losing in the struggle to satisfy his instinctive aspirations. The reasons for the formation of a feeling of greed in a man can be different.
Why do you come across stingy menWomen come across greedy men for the following reasons:
How to recognize a greedy manIt is often problematic to recognize an overly tight-fisted person. But the signs of a greedy man will help: you will understand everything by his behavior.
If a man saves on his wife, you should think about her role in a man's life. 5 types of greedy menWhen talking about male greed, one cannot ignore the topic of its signs and forms of expression. Stinginess can come in many forms. Based on this, several types of greedy men can be distinguished.
5 quick ways to checkWays that you can test for greed will help you understand that a man is not too generous.
The difficulty in identifying stinginess lies in the fact that at the initial stages of a relationship, actions can be caused by emotions and falling in love. Even a stingy man “on the wings of love” is ready to be generous in everything. But over time, when the feelings cool down, true character traits will begin to manifest, among which there may be greed.
Another hidden threat that makes it difficult to test for greed is the guy's commercialism. He targeted a certain girl. In his plans, she should become his life companion. She is beautiful, interesting, well-mannered, smart. In order to realize his intention, he will use various methods.
Is it worth developing a relationshipGreedy men are discussed mainly from a female position. But how do the representatives of the male half of humanity themselves relate to the presence of greed and stinginess in themselves? Let's figure out whether men understand or not their greed for a woman. It all depends on the specific person and the conditions in which he is. An intellectually developed man, faced with problems in relationships or in relationships with people, thinks about the reasons for what is happening. In such situations, he is aware of the presence of the features of greed. Selfish and spoiled people who are not accustomed to taking responsibility for their own and other people's lives are not inclined to think about the essence of the processes taking place. Such men do not understand themselves. Even the troubles and problems due to greed are attributed to the people around, bad luck and circumstances. Male greed has a significant impact not only on the life of the bearer of the characteristic. The manifestations of greed and avarice are felt by girls, girlfriends, wives, children, relatives and people around them. A woman who is in a relationship with a greedy man runs the risk of facing serious problems in life.
How to live with a tight-fisted manRelationships with a greedy man can be built in different ways. It all depends on the conditions, character traits of the girl herself, etc. The status of the relationship plays an important role. Stingy guyIn order not to regret in the future that my boyfriend is greedy, at the initial stage it is necessary to form the rules of relationships, discuss and negotiate problems, wishes and goals. This approach allows you to identify features of character. The main thing is not to rush to develop relationships until people get to know each other. If a girl has a suspicion that she has come across a greedy guy, you need to check it out. It is important for the girl herself to figure out what she wants from this guy. Perhaps frugality is the trait that is important to her in a man.
Greedy fatherIt is worth remembering that the father is a role model for children, whatever he may be. Children learn to interact with the world around them and people based on the models they perceive from their parents. If greed is the norm in the father's behavior and thinking, there is a high probability that this trait will be perceived and learned by children. A greedy father influences the formation of the child by saving money on him directly. Such children may develop complexes and self-doubt. Old clothes, lack of proper toys, restrictions - all this will have a traumatic effect on the child and affect adulthood. Especially if such restrictions were artificial, not due to financial difficulties in the family. Greedy husbandThe nature of the development of family relations in marriage with a greedy husband depends on a whole complex of factors.
Women with traditional views of family relationships living with a greedy husband is difficult.
Can you help to become more generousLive with a greedy husband possibly. Understanding the situation that my husband is greedy is far from a death sentence. Even if it is not possible to eliminate his greed, it is possible to influence the spouse and turn greed into an advantage. How a woman should behave in order to influence a man's greed:
In marriage, an intelligent woman easily copes with her husband's greed through hidden manipulation and literacy. So, all financial issues are transferred to the sphere of responsibility of the husband. A woman achieves her goals by presenting them from a position of importance to her husband and family. Wives often involve children in such tactics if the father's stinginess does not apply to them.
Knowledge of all the subtleties and characteristics of a man's character, competent adjustment and manipulation will allow to level greed, use it for the benefit of relationships and family. He doesn't want to buy you a cup of coffeeLet's figure it out. How much does a cup of coffee cost? Three kopecks. A cup of coffee is three tram tickets, two cartons of milk, or a pack of condoms. Is that expensive? Not. Thus, we have three options. First, he is a beggar. Absolutely. But this is unlikely, because the times are not the same: today even a fifth-grader usually has in his pocket the amount for a couple of cups of this very coffee. Second: he is insanely greedy. He really can't afford to spend this paltry amount. This is also unlikely - a rare pathology. And finally, the third and most common option: he checks you. A cup of coffee is the alpha and omega of misogynists. This is a test for the "mercantile woman", which they write about in all their articles. Drive him straight away, don't get your hands dirty. He offers to split the restaurant bill in half.And he tells you that this is the very equality for which we fought. Baba Fisa's tales are not equality. We all - both you and him - were brought up differently: the gentleman invites the young lady and treats her, and the young lady tries to limit herself to that very cup of coffee, so as not to embarrass the gentleman. We cannot instantly change the paradigm, these social games are clear to us, and some others are not yet very clear. However, if you want to give him a chance, ask him about the children. Yes, that's a very good question. It sounds like, "How long are you going to be on parental leave?" If he goggles and hisses something about "female destiny" - specify again what he muttered about equality. I wonder how this redneck will get out. He never leaves a tipHow to recognize a greedy man? This manifestation of greed has nothing to do with you, but not paying such attention is dear to yourself. Tipping is only 10-15% of the bill, there is nothing to talk about, unless you skipped half your salary, of course. What can you save here? Nothing. So, it's not about saving, but about being choked by a toad. He knows very well that tips are a substantial part of the waiters' earnings. He comes to visit empty-handedIt's not about flowers and gifts, it's about food and drinks. Yes Yes exactly. If you invite a man to dinner, and he comes without a bottle of wine and a box of cakes, let Doshirak burst at home. Because you spent your money and time feeding him delicious food. Yes, but he's supposed to treat you at a restaurant, so it's fair, right? Not. Because you go to a restaurant a couple of times, and he will always have dinner with you. You yourself know that it will be so. Popular Or gives gifts not to you, but to himselfOh, these are the most wonderful gifts! “Honey, here's a five-liter bottle of Johnny Walker! Are you happy? That's fine, otherwise I have nothing to drink at your place after work. " What can you say here? Thank you for donating fishing boots. But he could. He divides expenses "honestly", not in halfIf you still got in touch with Zhadoba and you already live together, take a closer look at how he shares your joint expenses. Recently, the story about a boy who invited the girl to live together and split the cost of renting an apartment in half has spread all over social networks. The girl honestly gave her half until she found out that the apartment belonged to the boy. This is greed in an inoperable stage, of course, and therefore rarely occurs. It's usually simpler: you pay the bills in half, buy groceries together, and everyone spends the rest on themselves - that's very convenient, right? But if you cook, then you buy the missing ingredients with your own. You're a woman, you know better than treating the sick, run to the pharmacy, huh? Voila, you buy medicines with yours too. Do you need cleanliness in your house? The cleaning products are on you. Do you need all kinds of small utensils and equipment to make life easier? Again your expenses. And finally, he wants a beautiful woman next to him - and you spend money on clothes and makeup. And he - only for his own Wishlist. And this is called “fair sharing”. Oh well. He saves by using your resourcesWomen's labor - ordinary household labor, which is usually not noticed - several times tried to evaluate from the point of view of market relations. And it turned out that 90% of men on the planet, in principle, cannot afford a wife. There is no money to pay for all her services: the work of a maid, the work of a cook, work of a nanny, the work of a personal psychologist, stylist and massage therapist. Dear treats, you know. But it seems like it's not good to somehow talk about money, because it is love and care. Yes of course. Love and care - in the event that you run a household together. Or if he pays for the purchase of modern technology and the services of a housekeeper, when it comes to really hard and dirty work. And if you still wash the dishes with your hands - what is there to talk about? |
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